The Collected Regrets of Clover

by Mikki Brammer

What’s the point of giving someone a beautiful death if you can’t give yourself a beautiful life?

From the day she watched her kindergarten teacher drop dead during a dramatic telling of Peter Rabbit , Clover Brooks has felt a stronger connection with the dying than she has with the living. After the beloved grandfather who raised her dies alone while she is traveling, Clover becomes a death doula in New York City, dedicating her life to ushering people peacefully through their end-of-life process.

Clover spends so much time with the dying that she has no life of her own, until the final wishes of a feisty old woman send Clover on a road trip to uncover a forgotten love story—and perhaps, her own happy ending. As she finds herself struggling to navigate the uncharted roads of romance and friendship, Clover is forced to examine what she really wants, and whether she’ll have the courage to go after it.

Probing, clever, and hopeful, The Collected Regrets of Clover is perfect for readers of The Midnight Library and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine as it turns the normally taboo subject of death into a reason to celebrate life.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Book Club, Romance, Audiobook, Literary Fiction, Death

320 pages, Hardcover

First published May 9, 2023

About the author

Mikki Brammer is from Tasmania, Australia and now lives in New York City by way of France and Spain. She writes about architecture, art and design for publications including Architectural Digest, ELLE Décor, and Dwell. The Collected Regrets of Clover is her first novel and has so far been published in 26 languages.

Sign up for updates on her upcoming second novel at: www.mikkibrammer.com/newsletter.

Reviews

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 5 out of 5]

This sentimental, poignant, and engaging novel is absolutely outstanding! It delves into the meaning of life, death, the impact of choices on our paths, and how to embrace the limited time we have and learn to let go.

Clover is a truly memorable character who you'll love to meet. She's different, quirky, awkward, and introverted, more focused on death and the lives of those with limited time than on living a fulfilled life. She hides within her own cocoon, maintaining limited connections with people. Her only friend is her elderly black neighbor, Leo, who was also her grandfather's friend.

Clover's life changed when she witnessed the death of her kindergarten teacher at the tender age of five. Clinging to his hand in silence, she became an outcast due to her unusual reaction and behavior. After losing her parents in an accident, she moved to live with her grandfather in a New York City apartment.

Now 36 years old, Clover still resides in the same apartment she shared with her late grandfather. Despite his passing, she lacks the courage and energy to collect his belongings and donate them.

As a death doula, Clover spends her time talking and connecting with those who are nearing the end of their lives, providing comfort and assistance in their transition.

Her only hobby is attending death cafes, where people gather to discuss death and share their experiences. Clover prefers to remain an observer, silently listening to the stories of others and taking notes on her clients' last words, including their regrets, advice, and confessions.

But it is one particular client, Claudia, a former journalist battling terminal cancer, who becomes Clover's intimate confidante.

Suddenly, Clover finds herself embarking on a life-changing journey across the country. Tasked with uncovering an unforgettable love story, she unexpectedly finds her own happy ending in the process.

This book is a truly unusual, thought-provoking, delicate, and heartfelt journey. I am confident you won't have encountered anything quite like it before. It's a one-of-a-kind, unique, visionary, and inspirational read.

I highly recommend immersing yourself in this unforgettable character's world. Clover will undoubtedly leave a lasting impression on your mind and heart.

Many thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for graciously providing me with an advanced digital review copy in exchange for my honest opinions.

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[Sujoya - theoverbookedbibliophile · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐

“But the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life. Putting your heart out there. Letting it get broken. Taking chances. Making mistakes.”

Thirty-six-year-old Clover Brooks works as a Death Doula in New York City, guiding her clients through the last days of their lives – keeping them company while also taking note of their last wishes and much more to make the transition easier for them. Witnessing the death of her kindergarten teacher as a child fueled her interest in the subject of death and her academic pursuit in thanatology. When she was twenty-three, her grandfather, who had raised her passed away while she was traveling, and this further motivated her to her engage in this line of work. Though she is a consummate professional and takes pains to not get emotionally attached to her clients, she does record her experiences in three notebooks documenting what her clients share with her through their interactions in the form of -“Regrets”, “Advice” and “Confessions”. Her social life is practically non-existent and her closest friend is Leo, her elderly neighbor and a friend of her late grandfather. When she isn’t working, she spends her time watching movies, attending death cafes and watching her neighbors through their open windows. When Clover meets Claudia, a terminally ill but spirited ninety-one-year-old former photojournalist and grandmother of Sebastian, whom she met in a death café, Claudia’s stories and her regrets, encourage Clover to take stock of her life and her own regrets. Uncharacteristically for her, she finds herself on a quest to help Claudia in a personal matter – a regret that Claudia has harbored over a lifetime – and doing so just might enable Clover to look at her own life and regrets from a fresh perspective.

“The truth is, grief never really goes away. Someone told me once that it’s like a bag that you always carry— it starts out as a large suitcase, and as the years go by, it might reduce to the size of a purse, but you carry it forever.”

One might expect a story that revolves around a death doula to be morbid and/or depressing. But Mikki Brammer’s debut novel The Collected Regrets of Clover is far from that. A celebration of life that urges you to enjoy every moment, take advantage of the opportunities life throws your way and live life with as few regrets as possible, this story conveys a beautiful message. The flashbacks to Clover’s childhood and her memories of her grandfather are so beautifully written and I just loved Claudia. Sylvie was an interesting character, to say the least.

However, there are a few aspects of this story that prevent me from giving it a higher rating. Clover’s characterization felt both inconsistent and unconvincing. On the one hand, she is portrayed as someone well-traveled (researching her area of study in her twenties) and displays much maturity in her professional life but much of what we see of her in her personal life reads as a tad immature for a thirty-six-year-old. I also understand loneliness and the importance of human connection but Clover’s attempts at alleviating her feelings of loneliness by peeping into the lives of others (literally, with a pair of binoculars) was a tad off-putting, though I did feel sad for Clover. On this note, while I can see a character who has led such an otherwise solitary life harboring a great deal of grief and closed off from friendship or romantic relationships take gradual steps in emerging from her self-constructed shell, the romance track (which I felt was unnecessary) and the changes in Clover’s worldview in this story felt a tad rushed.

Overall, this is a lovely story with a beautiful message that will resonate with many. I truly appreciate the premise and found the subject matter relevant and thought-provoking. There is a lot to like about this story and I appreciate the author’s effort to shed light on sensitive topics such as aging, loneliness and the need for end-of-life respect and comfort.

Many thanks to author Mikki Brammer, St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for the digital review copy of this novel. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.

“So maybe we just need to appreciate that many aspects of life— and the people we love— will always be a mystery. Because without mystery, there is no magic. And instead of constantly asking ourselves the question of why we’re here, maybe we should be savoring a simpler truth: We are here.”

[Mikki Brammer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hello! Since a main theme of this book is that our time is precious, I truly appreciate you choosing to spend some of your time reading it—especially since there are so many wonderful books out there. I hope it brings you a little bit of joy!

[Rosh (Off GR duty for a fortnight!) · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a Nutshell: An interesting debut work. The main character generated pretty mixed emotions, so your enjoyment of the novel will depend on how much you like her. Smooth and straightforward read. More of a contemporary drama than romance, which is always better for me.

Story Synopsis:

Thirty six year old Clover’s grandfather (who raised her) passed away when she was travelling. To compensate for her guilt at not being by his side during his final moments, Clover becomes a death doula in NYC. She has always been fascinated by death, and was a student of thanatology (the study of death from various perspectives), so choosing to be by people’s side as they die ought to be a more rewarding experience than researching death.
Her latest client is the feisty ninety-one year old Claudia, who speaks to Clover about her first love and her regrets. Through Claudia’s journey, Clover begins to question her own life choices. Has she been so obsessed with death that she forgot to live?
The story comes to us in the first person perspective of Clover.

Bookish Yays:
✔ The secondary characters in the book, whether they get meaty roles or tiny ones, are fascinating. Claudia, Leo (Clover’s old neighbour), Clover’s grandpa (in flashback appearances), Sylvia (Clover’s new neighbour), Bessie (The bookstore owner) – so many wonderful and varied characters, each with their own charm and flaws. Many other readers seem to have disliked Sebastian but I liked him too. He was very clear about his intentions, he didn’t deceive Clover any time, and he was the only one who had the guts to tell her straight to her face what a sham she was.

✔ This is the first book I have read focussing on a ‘death doula’. The intricacies of choosing this as a career option are brought out well by the plot. I loved how Clover kept three notebooks – Regrets, Confessions, and Advice – and used these in her own life. Though the book is full of death, it still works as an ode to life and is hardly ever morbid or depressing. It was also interesting to learn that there are places called ‘death cafes’!

✔ I loved the underlying theme of the book. We all hear of regrets on the death bed, but do we plan to change anything about the way we live our life? Though the ending is also quite guessable because of this, I appreciate how the book showed Clover making changes in her life because of regrets, both of hers and of her clients.

✔ Though Clover’s thoughts do turn to seeking a potential romantic partner in one character, the romantic angle isn’t given the primary spot in the story. The main angle stays on Clover’s journey of self-discovery, which involves romance as well.

✔ There are some truly amazing lines and analogies in the book, especially about death and grief. The one that compared grief with a dust storm was just outstanding.

✔ The ending is good, though a bit too sugary sweet.


Bookish Nays:
❌ Clover. Sigh… How do you solve a problem like Clover? In many ways, she had her good qualities. She was caring and understanding with her clients, she used her ‘regrets’ notebook to make amends for their regrets, she adored her grandfather and her old neighbour Leo,… At the same time, the list of negatives is much lengthier. Clover doesn’t prove herself a trustworthy person in any sense. And the problem doesn’t just stop at the usual character flaws such as lying. No! Clover has to spy on a neighbour with her binoculars. Clover has to judge every person she meets based on their physical appearance – every single one, no exceptions. Clover has no concept of client confidentiality, and reveals their personal disclosures to anyone interested. Clover lies to anyone and everyone, but hates it when they are lying to her. As the titular character who is narrating the story to us in first person, Clover is the cornerstone the book rests upon. But when the foundation itself is so shaky, how will the plot surpass Clover’s flaws? The secondary characters do help to some extent, but ultimately, this is Clover’s show. So if you don’t connect with her, there goes your reading experience.

❌ The above are problems in Clover’s personality. But even greater is the lack of consistency in Clover’s character detailing. She is shown to be a thirty-six year old who has been brought up by an aged grandfather, is intelligent, and has travelled the world independently in her early twenties. All this should point to a person who ought to be aware of life and practical in her outlook. Yet Clover is written as an immature and naïve woman who doesn’t know the basics of love or life, and hasn’t kissed anyone romantically, ever!? I can understand how she may not be more socially open because of her introverted grandpa and still grieving because of his sudden death, but surely her solo travels and her long professional experience equipped her to face life in her mid-thirties.

❌ The romantic track (the actual one, which begins pretty late in the book) is too convenient and too instant to be believable. I found it quite unconvincing, clichéd, and unnecessary. Surely a woman character can develop her self-worth and confidence without the aid of romance!


Overall, this debut work does have its pros. Through the strong premise and the myriad secondary characters, you too will start wondering if you are living your life well or are just existing.

A part of Clover reminded me of Eleanor Oliphant or Molly from The Maid, two nicely-written socially awkward (non-neurodivergent) fictional characters of recent times. But Eleanor and Molly made me root for them despite their anti-social tendencies. Clover made me want to knock some sense into her. If you do pick this up, I hope you like Clover so that the book clicks better with you.

Recommended with reservation.

3.25 stars.


My thanks to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for the DRC of “The Collected Regrets of Clover”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.


🚩 PS: I am using this postscript to register my STRONG displeasure at the term “doga”. I can somehow accept (with great reluctance) that people have yoga classes for/with dogs, but calling it “doga”? Ridiculous! It is so disrespectful of the original discipline of yoga, which is supposed to be a spiritual and meditative pursuit towards emotional and physical well-being. The word appears multiple times in the book, but I can’t consider it as a flaw of the book itself because the book/author merely echoes what's apparently the norm in NYC. Hence this little red flag outside of the review. Cultural appropriation is anyway a problem, but adopting another culture's respected practices and taking them, literally, to the dogs demonstrates a whole new level of ignorance and deserves censure.




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[Kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grief is just love looking for a place to settle.

Synopsis:

Clover Brooks is a 36-year-old death doula living in NYC, whose job it is to provide comfort, support and a listening ear to the dying. Her interest in death began in kindergarten when her teacher collapsed and died in front of the class and was reinforced by her parents’ accidental deaths a year later. She’s not morbid, but rather sees death as a natural part of life that she can help people process in their final days. The only problem is that she herself seems to have forgotten to LIVE.

Raised by her now-deceased grandfather, she’s never had a romantic relationship or friendships with peers and only socializes with one of her grandfather’s friends named Leo. When a new uninhibited tenant named Sylvie moves into her building and a man named Sebastian hires her to care for his 91-year-old dying grandmother, Claudia, Clover’s world begins to open up. She’s used to being the one to teach others, but Sylvie, Sebastian and particularly Claudia, may just teach Clover a thing or two about living!

My Thoughts:

Mikki Brammer’s debut novel is beautifully written and has a thoughtful, almost philosophical feel to it. The blurb compares it to Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library, and I can see that. It addresses a topic that, frankly, most of us probably don’t want to think about or discuss much, yet ultimately draws the focus far more to the idea of living life fully. Yes, it addresses aspects of death and dying that may make people sensitive to that topic uncomfortable, but it also promotes the idea of appreciating your life and living it well! It was fun to see Clover’s world open up over the course of the story.

Speaking of Clover, she isn’t easy to like at times. She’s guarded and mistrustful due to a lifetime of being misunderstood, yet she’s also kind-hearted and caring towards those in her care, and the few people she’s willing to open her heart to. Her relationship with Claudia was genuinely touching, as were her interactions with 87-year-old Leo. Her budding friendship with Sylvie was mostly fun as well. I didn’t like Sebastian, but someone enters the story later who did win my heart! Ultimately, Clover’s character arc made my heart happy, and I can see why some compare her to Eleanor Oliphant.

Overall, it was a wonderful debut. Some parts dragged just a little and a couple characters’ death scenes felt a bit unrealistic - I just don’t believe they’d have that kind of clarity in their dying moments to impart all those bits of advice to Clover, but that said, the thoughts were still touching and brought tears to my eyes! I’ll definitely be watching for Brammer’s future books.

★★★★

Thanks to St. Martin’s Press, NetGalley and author Mikki Brammer for this digital ARC to honestly review. It’s due to be published on May 9, 2023.

[Shelley's Book Nook · Rating 2 out of 5]

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Before reading this book I had never heard of a death doula so the premise had me intrigued. Clover saw her kindergarten teacher keel over and die and she has been interested in death ever since, especially as both her parents died not long after and then her grandfather goes and dies fifteen years later while she is off travelling. Clover keeps journals of the people she keeps company with while they pass away. There are three types of journals: Regrets, Advice and Confessions. Clover finally starts to review her own life and regrets when she gets Claudia as a client and decides to help her on her quest about her regrets.

For a story about a death doula, this book was pretty heartwarming at times and is more about celebrating life and enjoying it to the fullest. Clover's flashbacks to her childhood were my favourite parts of the book, especially the ones with her grandfather. I was confused at times about Clover though. Parts of the book have her as a mature 20-something travelling the world and then in later parts she's a shy 30-something with no self-esteem to self-worth. Maybe that was deliberate on the author's part to show what a family death and guilt can do to a person.

It's hard to like and enjoy a character-driven book when you don't like or can't relate to the main character and I had a really hard time connecting to Clover...in fact, this book had a lot of unlikeable characters in it. Clover has no friends and no social life outside of an older man her grandfather was friends with and I can't blame people for not wanting to spend time with her. I did not like the little romance angle at all, it didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the story. So this was kind of a hit-and-miss with me but it has many great reviews so don't take my word for it.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the Advance Readers Copy.

[Catherine (alternativelytitledbooks) - in a book slump :( · Rating 4 out of 5]

**Many thanks to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press, and Mikki Brammer for an ARC of this book! Now available as of 5.9!!**

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."- Norman Cousins

Clover has a strong connection to death and all that surrounds it: one that most people just can't understand. As a death doula, her job entails making the final days of her dying clients not only comfortable, but peaceful. While many would find this task emotionally taxing and depressing beyond measure, Clover takes comfort in these strangers she comes to know, and they give her connection in her otherwise isolated existence. She keeps notebooks containing some of the last words and regrets of her clients, and tries to apply this wisdom to her own life. After the untimely passing of her parents many years ago, Clover has been raised by her grandfather...until she one day loses him too, without getting the chance to say a proper goodbye....and she's never truly recovered.

Outside of her one elderly friend Leo who lives in her apartment building, Clover has little social life and takes comfort in watching her beloved rom-coms over and over and occasionally peeping into the window across the way at the happy couple who lives there. All of this begins to change, however, when at a Death Cafe meeting (basically a therapeutic and informational place where members gather to discuss death), Clover meets devilishly handsome cellist Sebastian...and he implores Clover to take on his grandmother Claudia as her next client. Once she does, Clover ends up entrenched in a mystery and hopeful to keep Claudia' out of her Book of Regrets, Clover (aided and encouraged by her new friend and neighbor Sylvie) finally ventures out of her comfort zone entirely. But is what she's destined to discover enough to erase a lifetime of living in the shadows? Can Clover revive what has so long remained dormant inside her and simply let life in?

Death doulas have been popping up more and more in fiction as of late, and my first experience with them was in Jessica Strawser's The Next Thing You Knew...an interesting book, but WILDLY different than this one.

And I have to say, despite the subject matter, despite this being a debut...Mikki Brammer's writing took what could have been a depressing and morose tale and imbued it with life, love, uncertainty, and SO much hope!

Brammer's writing is easy to read, and Clover is that sort of quiet, quirky heroine that many bookworms (myself included) will find relatable and lovable. I mean, not on EVERY level, since Clover's peeping tendencies are a bit off-putting...but her shy nature and tendency to let social anxiety keep her from TRULY living certainly felt like a page out of my own book (and one I too need to work to change!) I also loved the concept of the notebooks full of regrets and confessions: such a simple device, but it felt fitting for Clover and worked beautifully in the context of her story.

Although some of the people she met seemed a bit TOO perfect at times (a la the rom coms Clover adores) I did appreciate that there were some surprises in store. Perhaps Clover's immaturity belies her age in some areas and therefore borders on unbelievable, but in that sense she reminded me of another narrator that despite her quirks is quite beloved: Eleanor Oliphant. If her brand of quirk appeals to you, consider Clover your new potential literary best friend in waiting!

This touching, tender, and terrific debut will make you consider what your OWN words of advice or regret might be and if you can perhaps put them into action BEFORE they become frozen on a page. If we are able to save that magical and unnameable spark of possibility that lies in each of us from an untimely 'death'...then we can begin, at last, to FULLY live.

4.5 stars


Nominated for Best Fiction and Best Debut in the Goodreads Choice Awards!

[Terrie Robinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer is a Blend of Family and Women's Fiction!

Clover has been faced with death several times in her young life but the death of her grandfather is the one that rocked her world. He was her only living relative when her parents died, he was the one who raised her, and when Clover was on the other side of the world, her grandfather died alone.

It's when and why Clover decides to become a death doula. She ensures her clients are not alone during their final days by listening to their regrets and advice, and if they feel like making any confessions, she's there for that, too. She loves being a death doula and views it as an honor and a privilege to serve the dying.

When Clover's not busy with a client, she's lost, lonely, and always feels like an outsider. She isolates herself in her apartment for days at a time with her pets and mindlessly watches videos. When she's craving something different, she goes to a death cafe or turns off the lights and uses her binoculars to watch the neighbor couple across the way. Yikes.

Then Clover meets a new client named Claudia who's a wise and well-traveled ninety-one-year-old woman with advice, a long held confession, and regrets that triggers Clover to reflect on her own life...

The Collected Regrets of Clover has left me with mixed feelings. Clover is sweet, naive, bright, yet so incredibly and painfully lonely I wanted to give her a great big hug. Then I realized she's a thirty-six-year old adult and her behaviors felt YA leaning. This combination didn't work for me.

The Collected Regrets of Clover progresses slower than I expected and although I love a slow-burn that allow deep background into characters and backstories, at 60% in, it feels repetitious. At 62% the pace picks up and everything changes but is this shift enough to alter how I felt about this story up to this point?

I love The Collected Regrets of Clover from 62% on and the ending was just about perfect but it wasn't enough to change how I felt about the story over all. It's an imaginative story with great characters that grabbed me in the beginning, lost me in middle, then pulled me back in at the end.

3.5 stars rounded down!

Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press, and Mikki Brammer for an ARC of this book. It has been an honor to give my honest and voluntary review.

[Lindsay L · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 surprisingly superb stars!

A charming, unique, endearing, thought-provoking, memorable read!

Thirty-six year old Clover is a death doula. Her job is to comfort the dying in their last days on earth. Clover lives an introverted life outside of work, finding companionship with her dog and two cats. Raised by her grandpa since the age of six, she lives alone in the apartment he left to her when he died thirteen years prior.

Prior to reading this, I had not heard of a death doula or death cafe. Clover seemed to be the perfect fit for this career choice and I enjoyed learning about these fascinating concepts through her character.

Clover is an endearing and unforgettable character. She is quirky, awkward and loveable. She got to my heart immediately. I found her to be a mix between Maddie from Maame and Eleanor Oliphant, both books that I adored.

The second half of the book had some “cute factor” which is usually a turn off for me. However, it wasn’t an overly powerful cuteness, just the suggestion of it so it didn’t overshadow any of the plot or writing for me. It wasn’t enough to take any stars away.

This book shares some very thought-provoking topics surrounding death and living without regrets. It is a book that I feel will make an impact on every single reader who picks it up.

The writing, the characters, the setting, the plot, the pace — I loved it all! I was shocked to find out this is a debut novel. I didn’t expect to love this as much as I did and am happy to report this makes my 2024 Favourites List. I cannot wait to see what this very talented author comes out with next! Highly recommend!

Some quotes that I loved:

“I didn’t need more books, but I liked the rush of dopamine that came from finding a new title to add to my potential reading list.”

“Grief is just love looking for a place to settle.”

Thank you to the publisher for my review copy!

[Teres · Rating 4 out of 5]

“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” — Mary Oliver

Clover Brooks lost both her parents in a tragic accident when she was just six-years-old. Now 36, she lives in the West Village apartment that her beloved grandfather bequeathed to her.

Despite the roughly two million people in Manhattan, all living within an area of just 23 square miles, Clover’s only true friends are her three rescue pets and her 87-year-old neighbor.

Clover mostly chooses to hole up inside her apartment and binge-watch movies to numb her feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Given how death has shaped her own life from such a young age, Clover wants "to observe it, to decode it…to find sense in the thing that feels so senseless.”

She actually works as a death doula, firmly believing that everyone deserves to die with dignity and with their wishes carried out. Clover provides companionship and end-of-life support.

She records her clients’ final words in one of three private notebooks — Regrets, Advice, or Confessions — that she then revisits regularly.

From the Advice notebook, she’ll randomly pick an entry and try to live by that guidance for the next week. Sometimes, it might be as simple as treating herself to a bunch of fresh flowers from the corner bodega (advice from Bruce, the plumber with a passion for gardenias).

With the Confessions notebook, Clover tries to do something that might make up for a deed a client had confessed to. In the case of Ronald, who prior to his death admitted to stealing money from street musicians when they weren’t looking, Clover always carries around ten-dollar bills so she can quietly slip them into musicians hats and instrument cases whenever she sees one.

Choosing a Regret, Clover tries to find a way to honor it, believing that if she can learn from it — and avoid making the same mistake in her own life — then it wasn’t in vain. To honor 80-year-old Lily, who never pursued her passion for painting because her ninth-grade teacher told her she had no talent, Clover signs up for an abstract painting class.

Despite the underlying theme of death, The Collected Regrets of Clover by Miki Brammer is in no way a macabre tale.

Clover is such an endearing character and there are life-affirming gems scattered liberally throughout.

I thoroughly enjoyed Brammer’s debut novel and since life is short, you only get this one, and there is no dress rehearsal, I highly recommend you give it a read.

Tell me, if today were your last day on earth, which of Clover’s three notebooks — Advice, Regrets, or Confessions — do you think you would end up in…and why?

[Shaana Niessen · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you have a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign hanging in your living room, you will probably like this book. DNF halfway through. I got tired of trying not to vomit.

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not know that death doulas exist. It is a genuine occupation to sit and be with those who are near the end of their time on earth. The Collected Regrets of Clover is the debut novel of Mikki Brammer and it's outstanding!

The main character, Clover, is a death doula. She captures the last words and conversations of those she sits with before they pass away. Clover indicates that their last conversations are usually about regrets, accomplishments or secrets.

The story arc includes Clover learning about herself and how she needs to change to live a life that is "cautiously reckless."

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this story!
Clover is a 36 yr old death doula.
She had been in the presence of death since she was five years old and her Kindergarten teacher died in class. The next year her parents died while vacationing in China, and she had to move to New York City to live with her maternal grandfather.
Clover grew up a real introvert and didn’t have friends and never dated, a bookworm, who became very close with her grandfather.
After college and her grandfather’s death she starting being a doula and helping people prepare and be comfortable as they prepare for their next journey… in doing so she eventually comes to realize how she must live her life.
Loved this!

Thank you to Netgalley and St.Martin’s Press for the ARC!

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounded up
This is the second book I’ve read about a death doula. (The other was The Next Thing You Know). It worked best when it tackled our society’s fear of death, as seen through one particular family.
Clover Brooks was an only child, a young orphan who learned early on that a way to avoid loss is not to make connections in the first place. She loves to read and is happier with her nose in a book or with her pets (a dog and two cats). Needless to say, those traits definitely help me relate to her. She became a death doula after the grandfather who raised her died alone. She’s now 36, has only one friend, an elderly gentleman and has never been kissed. Things start to change when she visits a death cafe and meets Sebastian. Death cafes? Yes, they’re a real thing and not just in NYC. Soon thereafter, a new tenant moves into her building and a budding friendship begins.
This is a sweet, heartwarming story. At times, it crosses over to the very saccharine and cliched plot points you would expect. But other times, it surprised me by not giving into the cliches, like at the end. I struggled a bit with Clover. We are expected to believe that someone as warm, caring and mature on the job would be so introverted and immature in real life. The best parts of the story revolve around Claudia, Sebastian’s grandmother and Clover’s client. My favorite line:
“Grief is just love looking for a place to settle.”
My thanks to Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press for an advance copy of this book.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having lost her parents at 6 years old, Clover, moves in with the grandpa she hardly knows in NYC. He's a quiet and reserved man but his love and care for Clover are always evident. When Clover finds herself traveling the world during college she receives the call no one ever wants to receive. Her grandpa passed away from a stroke. Clover is despondent. She can't believe she wasn't there for him in his time of need as he has always been there for her.

She moves back to the apartment he left her and decides to become a death doula. She's the friendly face and smile that ease people into the afterlife. She'll talk, she'll listen, she'll make arrangements - anything that will bring them peace on their journey. What she isn't doing is living a life of her own. She's basically all alone except for her elderly neighbor and her fur babies and she's convinced herself that these simple things are all she needs. That is until a new neighbor moves in. Sylvie, with all her exuberance and zest for life, are giving Clover second thoughts on her choices.

Then she meets a new client, Claudia, who has terminal cancer and only weeks to live. Through their many conversations Clover finds out that Claudia was unhappily married her entire life and that her one true love she left long ago in France. That sparks something in Clover and she sets out to find Hugo. After sleuthing Google she finds that he had moved to the states decades ago and is living in Maine. This search has opened her eyes to a world of possibilities and perhaps even a love of her own.

I know this book has been hit or miss with readers but I found it quite heartwarming. Many people weren't able to warm to Clover. I did, though she did frustrate me at times, and I wanted to give her a gentle nudge to think of herself and open her heart up to other people. Her friendships with her elderly neighbor, Leo, her new neighbor, Sylvie, and her patient Claudia were all rendered beautifully. Claudia especially, oh how I loved her. This is a thoughtful story written with the gentle hands of Mikki Brammer. I was so worried I wasn't going to enjoy this but I can positively say that I did. 4 stars!

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for my complimentary copy.

[Brandice · Rating 3 out of 5]

In The Collected Regrets of Clover, Clover is a death doula in New York City. She helps people die with dignity and is no stranger to grief, having lost both her parents at a young age and more recently, her grandfather, who raised Clover after her parents died.

Now at age 36, Clover is painfully realizing she has been so willfully preoccupied with helping others at the end of their life that she’s ignored her own. Her latest patient, Claudia, is an older woman who isn’t without regrets, but the story she shares sends Clover on an unexpected trip, hopeful she’ll be able to provide some closure for Claudia. Along the way, Clover might learn more about herself and the life she actually wants too.

“Don’t let the best parts of life pass you by because you’re too scared of the unknown.”

While I can appreciate that Clover was a late bloomer, I found her behavior so petulant at one point, I was afraid it would ruin the whole book for me. Fortunately, it didn’t, although I did not warm up to her quite as much as I hoped to. The story moved slowly at times, though it was a sweet one, with the reminder that life can be short and we should make the most of each day — 3.5 stars

Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press for the advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Dona's Books · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to the author Mikki Brammer, publisher St. Martin's Press, and as always NetGalley, for an advance audio copy of THE COLLECTED REGRETS OF CLOVER.

Okay, I feel bad about this after reading how many people wrote in their reviews how much they related to Clover. I'm almost convinced those reviewers missed a few plotpoints later in the book, but I don't really want to spoil the book for anyone who (still) wants to read it.

This is a book about Clover, the fmc. By "about Clover" I mean, this main character drives this whole book. And I can't stand her.

Clover is a death doula, which means she charges wealthy-enough people who are close-enough to death to accomplish tasks their friends or family, executors of estate, and hospice staff should all be doing. Funny enough-- Clover never collects any actual payment in this book, even though the reader sees more than one client. Probably because it would be unseemly and Brammer really jumps through hoops to sell us a pristine picture of her primary protagonist.

In a work context, Clover presents herself as overly pious. Away from work, she is selfish and spies on her freaking neighbors, which is creepy, although the text handles her like she's made of spun sugar, ugh. I wouldn't leave her alone with my dying gramma or mom, even though both of those propers would eat this little waffle with afternoon tea.

Rating: ☘️.5 / unlucky Clovers
Recommend? Everyone but me seems to love it, but it's a no
Finished: February 16 2023
Read this if you like:
👭 Friend drama
😒 Real creepers
🧟‍♀️ Unreal jobs
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family drama

[Elaine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of The Collected Regrets of Clover.

I was pretty eager to read this based on the premise.

I've never heard of a death doula before so I was incredibly intrigued and wanted to know more.

Other than learning what a death doula is and does, the narrative was more romance-y than I expected. Or liked.

My biggest issue is Clover. I didn't dislike her but I didn't like her.

I do know I wouldn't want to hang out with her.

Clover is the trending character you find in so many books these days; quirky, a loner, off-beat, lacking confidence and self-esteem.

She's got all these 'supposedly' great qualities; she's attractive, kind, hot, well-read, but she doesn't see that because she's quirky or too lonely and needs someone to tell her and even when they do, she misinterpret their words and actions and body language.

Actually, she misinterprets a lot.

She's afraid to take risks and risk opening up for fear of being hurt, which I understand and empathize with, but she's also incredibly naive despite her career choice and has done some traveling in college.

She self medicates by watching rom-coms and misinterprets body language, automatically assuming someone likes her or every couple she sees is in love.

I had to remind myself she's in her late thirties, not early twenties and not a tween/teen.

I'm getting tired of these characters; awkward, shy, doesn't realize how attractive she is until people say it to her face and even then she's all "umm....hehe...no I'm not."

I loved learning about what a death doula does but once Clover is hired by Sebastian to support his grandmother, Claudia, the story became a Lifetime special.

Why does the main character in a story always have to have a romantic partner?

Why couldn't Clover find a group of BFFs to hang with?

There's fulfillment with having a great network of friends.

Or maybe Clover could have empowered herself by completing the regrets she has collected through the years.

That would have been a far more interesting story instead of listening to her hem and haw about Sebastian and Sylvie.

I like the premise of this a lot but wished it had gone in a different direction with a better developed, stronger main character.

[Olive Fellows (abookolive) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was something really special. 💙

[Amina · Rating 3 out of 5]

The truth is, grief never really goes away...it's like a bag that you always carry---it starts out as a large suitcase, as as the years go by, it might reduce to the size of a purse, but you carry it
forever

This is the story of Clover Brooks, a death doula. The first time I've ever heard of such a thing, but it was an intriguing read.

From an early age, Clover was surrounded by death. First, her teacher died in front of her, then her parents died in a car accident. Somehow, Clover has been fascinated and almost calm around the dying. She decides to travel the world learning how other cultures usher people peacefully through their end of life process.

Clover lives in the same apartment she lived in with her grandfather. During the day she takes care of the dying, at night she comes home to her quiet existence, a few elderly neighbors as friends.

She's collected three books as guides for herself: Regrets, Advice, Confessions. She often looks through these books, wondering how she wants to live her own life.

She joins a death cafe and meets a boy named Sebastian--he's instantly drawn to Clover. When Sebastian learns of Clover's career, he asks her to help his grandmother transition peacefully through life. Clover quickly forms a bond with the grandmother, Claudia, a photographer and witty women with a colorful past.

Even though the content of this book feels heavy, I was drawn to many of the quotes—inspirational and important. Death is often a topic we shy away from, but Mikki Brammer writes with honesty and integrity, never a morbid feel to her story.

Grief, I'd come to realize was like dust, When you're in the thick of a dust storm, you're completely disoriented by the onslaught, struggling to see or breathe. But as the force recedes, and you slowly find your bearing and see a path forward, the dust begins to settle into the crevices. And it will never disappear completely- as the years pass, you'll find it in unexpected places at unexpected moments

The part of the book that was a miss for me was the character of Clover. Her job requires her to be extremely apathetic, nurturing, intuitive--which she is when she's with her patients. However, outside of her job, Clover seems socially inept, almost awkward--it was hard to process the two varying characterizations. Clover is 36, yet she's never dated, had a boyfriend, or any friends? It was impossible to believe. She's traveled the world, yet doesn't know about yoga or a first kiss? It was hard to reconcile these two varying characterizations that didn't feel congruent and created gaps in the plot.

Otherwise, I was vested in her relationships with the dying, the way she approached her clients, comforting them in their last moments.

The secret to a beautiful death is living a beautiful life

Overall, a worthwhile read. 3..75/5 stars

Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martins's Press for this advanced copy of The Collected Regrets of Clover

[Lindsey Gandhi · Rating 5 out of 5]

After staying up all night crying, I think I can try to put some thoughts together on this book. This was a beautifully heart breaking book. My heart swelled with love for so many of the characters and broke at the same time over the life lessons and regrets. This is the first time I've heard or read about a death doula. And while the premise of the book intrigued me, I was worried it would be too heavy. It wasn't. I fell in love with Clover's character and found it fascinating learning about what a death doula does. Claudia, Leo, Clover's grandfather, Hugo all had so many incredible words of advice that I will definitely keep with me. This book pulled out so many emotions. I am so impressed this was the author’s debut novel. It has been a minute since a book has stirred this kind of response from me - and I mean that in a positive way. There were so many beautiful parts of this book. This book with stay with me a long time. I definitely recommend it. But have a box of kleenex handy.

[Suz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Two of my favourite things. New York. An Australian woman writer. This book fits my quirky desires!

A funny aside, that the author happens to agree with, is the American narration of this book. In the interesting interview at the end, narrator Jennifer Pickens inteviews the author and asks a few questions. Mikki Brammer notices straight away while listening to the audition tapes the American accent. But of course this is the case, our leading lady, death doula Clover, is American and living in the big apple.

I loved all the bit characters here, possibly more than Clover. Clover was reserved, a little quirky and irritable at times. I usually love to love my characters, but the others made up for it. Clover's Grandpa who bought her up after poor old Clover has parents who are far from any good at the parenting gig, Lou, her best friend and her Grandpa's best friend prior to his death as well.

Clover is confronted with the concept at an early age, and continually as she grows. This leads her to a career as a death doula, and we meet clients and death situations along the way. She is relationship challenged, that is, she's terrible with people and works better in all aspects of life solo. We see her bumble her way along, fantastic in her career but all else quite haphazardly full of failure.

First time author, long time writer, Mikki Brammer writes well, I was convinced and captivated for the entirety. To me this was not heavy given the subject matter, I flew through the book and got to know the cast of characters well, never once feeling 'told' as is so often the case with debut authors. It makes me cringe when that happens. I loved hearing about New York, and Clover's story, mistakes and all. There were lots of neat parts, but I don't always need a slog.

Narrated with strength, I enjoyed this via the Libby platform and my public library at 1.50 speed. I have no qualms in recommending this, it was a sweet ride.

[Nilguen · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lucky girl I am to call this my first book of the year!

„The Collected Regrets of Clover“ by Mikki Brammer synthesises wisdom of life and practices with heart warming love stories.

Clover is a death doula in her mid-thirties who is versed in thanatology and death culture around the globe. She lost her parents at the age of six and was brought up by her educated grandpa. Years later after losing her grandpa, Clover fulfills the dreams of persons lying in their death beds.

Clover holds onto her memories, her grief and most importantly to the advice and regrets her clients share with her in the most intimate moments of facing their final moments.

How does Clover cope with death? How does she feel about people? How does Clover finally open her heart to let life happen?

This book narrates the journey of a vulnerable woman who transform into a better version of herself that can unlock countless opportunities, including love, happiness and heat breaks.

Anyway, why am I lucky to call this my first book do the year? It fuels me with so much passion and excitement for my life that I am very appreciative of. It’s the perfect premise to create the right mindset to start the year, I’d like to say!

Thanks Mikki Brammer!

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.

Find me on instagram

[Christy fictional_traits · Rating 5 out of 5]

'The Collected Regrets of Clover' is about living a beautiful life, a worthy life, and a fulfilling life now, with no regrets, 'just as we never know how long a match will last until we light it, we never know how long a life will last until we live it.'

Clover has always been fascinated by death, ever since her kindergarten teacher keeled over and died during class. The following year, Clover's parents die in a tragic accident, and she is sent to live with her grandfather. It's a relatively solitary life but it's safe, warm, and assured. But after finally losing her grandfather when she was 23 years old, and away traveling, she realises the desolation of dying alone and becomes a death doula, 'shepherding a dying. person through the last days of their life is a privilege - especially when you're the only thing they have to hold on to.' Clover records dying moments in her clients' lives: regrets, advice, and confessions. Ironically, their statements, in their dying moments, are tips on how to live your life to the fullest; something which Clover has always hidden from, 'They had helped fill the void of intimacy that I felt so keenly in my own life.'

'The Collected Regrets of Clover' is quirky, heartwarming and thought-provoking. It's deep, yet it's light. Clover is a character you learn to love and most probably see glimmers of yourself in. Most of all, it delivers advice we should all be cognisant of and adhere to, 'instead of constantly asking ourselves the question on why we're here, maybe we should be savoring the simpler truth: We are here.' If this is Mikki Brammer's debut novel, I don't envy her task in trying to top it, but I'll gladly read more from her.

[Pie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hi Mom,

This book is so horribly written! I was rolling my eyes multiple times per chapter and just needed to finish it as soon as possible to never have to think about it a again. The writing is sloppy and seems like it wasn’t edited enough, and, my god, the LACK OF SUBTLETY drove me nuts. After any very basic description of a very obvious thing the reader is supposed to pick up on, there’s a snappy little sentence that explains exactly what the reader is meant to get from that description. Like when the main character is sitting alone on her couch thinking about how she has no friends and just watches romantic comedies in her time off from work, then there’s a line that she understands that there’s a lot of loneliness in NYC… then the chapter ends on a tight little snappy line that she understands this because SHE’S ONE OF THOSE LONELY PEOPLE. Like… I get that. I got that. Multiple times. You didn’t have to spell it out for me. You don’t have to play airplane with me if we go out to dinner, I don’t need a booster seat OR a high chair. This consistent writing tick made me feel like I was reading a YA or middle grade book.

And the death doula stuff?? This book sounds like the author heard one podcast about a year ago where a death doula was interviewed, thought “Wow that’d be a cool main character,” then wrote a romance novel because the author actually didn’t know how to write about a death doula. It felt like a wasted conceit.

The other characters, too. They were all awful. One dimensional, horrible dialogue, you just immediately knew who was “good” and who was “bad” and the main character was extra good because she didn’t know she was good, yuck. And her friend, Sylvie, who starts every brutally honest observation with “Girl”? These people are meant to be in their 30s and much, much older?? And anytime we hear from the main character’s early life, she speaks and thinks like an adult in a smaller body. She’s meant to be 6??? And grieving? And she just doesn’t. I cringed at every stupid person in this novel.

Cringed at every stupid plot line, every stupid line of dialogue, every preachy rant about what we’re supposed to “learn” from this author writing as a series of dead people, every gaff and every “win” and everything, period. I just wanted this book over. So many things needed to be deleted, polished, rewritten, chapters put in different order, just. This book shouldn’t have been published. It needed more time to be more brutally reviewed by editors. That, or maybe it was even worse to begin with, which is very hard to imagine.

Truly, The Collected Regrets of Clover is a book I officially hate, and is currently the worst book I’ve read this year. I’ll update you in December if any books I read end up being worse than this one.

Love you, mom! Miss you!

Pie

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sooooooo this was recommended by one of my real life book friends and it’s been getting rave reviews all over Goodreads and The ‘Gram . . . .



Yeah, I’m the wrongreader here. I felt absolutely zero connection to Clover and this story. It read like a Ted Talk on how to navigate the grieving process. I was hoping things would pick up in some sort of cutesie “Letters from Juliet” spin when the blast from the past romance angle was brought into the story, but even that fell flat. Glad it worked for so many, but it most definitely was not for me.

[Wendy Darling · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read about death doulas, I have been through the process of watching loved ones decline, and I literally have a local death salon event bookmarked on my calendar. So I’m in the target audience for this novel for sure.

While I liked the plot overall, the novel didn’t end up being nearly as complex or surprising or meaningful or touching as I’d expected. The writing is serviceable but just not that engaging—I listened to a couple minutes of the author’s interview at the end, where she says she came from a non-fiction background and this is her first foray into fiction. I’d say that that shows, though I’d also argue that there are also plenty of non-fiction writers who write tension and compassion and so on into their work very well.

There was enough here to interest me to finish, but since the plot unfolded pretty much as expected and the writing is just fine, there’s not really enough here to make it memorable.

Audio Notes: I liked Jennifer Pickens’ performance, though.

[Marialyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many things we might regret in our lives and yet as death approaches we reminisce and often wonder what could have been.

Clover Brooks, was a young kindergarten student when she witnessed the untimely death of her teacher. Being an only child and an orphan due to the death of her parents, she learns early on about the fragility of connections to others, Clover avoids connections. At thirty-six, after the loss of her beloved grandfather, she becomes a death doula.

She meets Sebastian at a death cafe, and he hires her to be with his lovely grandmother, Claudia. As we learn of the life Claudia lived, we find her regrets and a bond rises up between Clover and Claudia. Claudia teaches Clover that a person needs to embrace life, and not seclude oneself in books, or her grandfather' apartment. Allowing oneself to look forward to what comes and cherishing the words of the soon to be departed., allows one to see that we are here and the now for us is happening all around.

This sweet story touched my heart and encouraged me to always look forward with the realization that this one life has meaning both from our past and definitely from our future. The charm of our lives is that we are here and shouldn't we make the most of that amazing opportunity?

Many thanks to Mikki Brammer, Macmillon Audio, (narrated by Jennifer Pickens, and NetGalley for the ability to listen to this gentle story)

[Erin Clemence · Rating 5 out of 5]

Special thanks to NetGalley and the author for a free, electronic ARC of this novel received in exchange for an honest review.

Expected publication date: May 9, 2023

Mikki Brammer’s debut novel, “The Collected Regrets of Clover” is a beautifully uplifting story about life, death, and the journeys in between.

When Clover was five years old, her kindergarten teacher dropped dead in front of her. When she was six, her parents were killed in a boating accident and she was sent to live with her maternal grandfather, who quickly became her idol and role model. But Clover’s obsession with death never really left her; she attended “death cafés”, got her masters in how other cultures observe death rituals, and, after the death of her grandfather, she became a death doula, helping others make their journey to the “other side”. Clover’s obsession has resulted in her living a solitary life, keeping others at a distance to avoid rejection. But as she helps others pass on, she begins to think about what living a “full life” actually means, and if fear is worth putting her life on hold for.

Clover is a lovable character, living essentially as a social recluse, finding escape through books and literally surrounding herself with death and dying. Clover is unabashedly honest and content with the life she has chosen (until she isn’t). Her life has been peppered with grief and loss, and Clover uses these experiences to help others, often at the cost of her own interest. There is definitely a lot in Clover that is relatable, and Brammer makes it easy for readers to connect with her protagonist from page one.

One would think “Regrets” would be a dark, depressing read, based on its premise and subject matter, but in fact, Brammer creates an uplifting, life affirming story, bringing a deep understanding of life through death, spotlighting the taboo subject within a thought-provoking plot.

Although there are a few romantic storylines in “Regrets” (and how could there not be in a story about dying and regrets?) Brammer keeps those in the background, only using them as a way for Clover to find her true self, and to create the life she wants and chooses. Every chapter in this novel leaves an indelible mark and I loved how Brammer brought the plot to a delightful and positive conclusion.

“Regrets” is creative and uniquely different, and I would put this debut in a genre all its own. Brammer will have a tough act to follow after this stunning introduction. I look forward to her next work, and perhaps a reintroduction to Clover?

[John Gilbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this first novel by Australian Mikki Brammer (now living in New York) most intriguing as our narrator is a death doula, one who sits with people during their final time and moments alive. I have long been interested in death, one of my great pet peeves is when people say someone has 'passed' rather than died. You pass tests, cars, on another beer or gas, but death is still a taboo topic for many as the grandson of Claudia, Sebastian is in this story.

In my own experience growing up, I never went to an actual wake where a body was on display, until my 20s. At the time I was confronted, as in my own family with the deaths of two grandparents and my father, we had only ever had a memorial service, never a funeral or god forbid a wake with an actual dead body on display. I have since attended many wakes and funerals, the most confronting for me being Maori and Aboriginal funerals where the body is usually on display and family and friends stroke the body and speak directly to the person. Confronting, but for me, so much more healing and final.

Yet Clover is blocked in her own life, able to deal with death, but not living herself. This was a slow burning novel and sometimes seemed to wander a fair bit, not sure where it was going. Towards the end the story found its mark and was an easy finish. This was a library ebook and a solid four stars.

Some worthwhile quotes to me that I still do not know how to separate from non kindle books on to Goodreads.

'As I retrieved a sweatshirt from between the two cats, I caught my reflection on the mirror hanging on the closet door. I rarely stopped and studied my face, so it almost felt like running into someone after months of not seeing them. I'd always wondered whether age snuck up on you gradually or if you just woke up one day and looked old.' pg 49

'"Selfish as it sounds," Claudia says, "I mostly regret putting the needs of others in front of my own. But as a woman, that's what I was taught to do. Your husband, your children, your parents - their happiness always mattered more. You were always someone's wife, or mother, or daughter, before you were yourself."' pg 187

'People usually aren't looking for a commentary to these sort of revelations. They just need someone to sit and listen to them without judgement. It's tempting to try to fix it, to cheer them up. But the truth is, you'll never find the right thing to say - because the right thing doesn't exist. The fact that you're there, and present, says so much more.' pg 188

'We stood there silently in the hallway, the space between us pulsing with the weight of what wasn't being said.' pg 196

Good stuff.