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Without MAlice
We need to first feel the rain, in order to appreciate the sun.
Her mum looks after her, and she looks after her mum. A loving daughter who suffers the mental scars from a traumatic childhood tragedy, and a widowed mother who fights to remain strong for the sake of her daughter.
Without MAlice will tug at the strings of your heart, reminding of the delights which human empathy can achieve.
Remove the 'M' from Malice and you have the name of our lead character, Alice, a kind natured and well humoured 21 year old who suffers repressed trauma from a harrowing past.
Arthur, the deceased father of the family, looks down from heaven, unable to speak to the loving family he has left behind, knowing that they have not forgotten him, as the dead are only able to see the living when they are in their hearts and in their thoughts.
Observing fleeting glimpses of the struggles and tribulations of his daughter and his wife, Arthur's mind is tortured in his heartbreak of being unable to intervene or help, yearning more than ever to hold his loving family near and reassure them that everything is going to be ok.
Thriving on the love and strength of her friends, Alice struggles with mental illness under the care of her regular consultant Dr Chivers at the foreboding Grange House, a local clinic for patients whose ailments are a little, shall we say, different...
Alice's progress has been stalling of late. That is until the esteemed Dr Reubenstein arrives in town, and things begin to take a sinister twist.
Aided and abetted by a blossoming love interest, Pete the boy next door, whom the rest of the people in town for some reason don't seem to approve of, Alice seeks to unravel the darker secrets of the new doctor, and the work being conducted at Grange House.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll fall in and out of love, and then do it all again. An emotional journey of loss, joy, tragedy, deceit and hope.
A heart-warming tale. Witty, charming and delightful, with characters you can't help but fall in love with.
A tale which reminds us we are human, and teaches us to appreciate the love and support of those closest to our hearts.
Her mum looks after her, and she looks after her mum. A loving daughter who suffers the mental scars from a traumatic childhood tragedy, and a widowed mother who fights to remain strong for the sake of her daughter.
Without MAlice will tug at the strings of your heart, reminding of the delights which human empathy can achieve.
Remove the 'M' from Malice and you have the name of our lead character, Alice, a kind natured and well humoured 21 year old who suffers repressed trauma from a harrowing past.
Arthur, the deceased father of the family, looks down from heaven, unable to speak to the loving family he has left behind, knowing that they have not forgotten him, as the dead are only able to see the living when they are in their hearts and in their thoughts.
Observing fleeting glimpses of the struggles and tribulations of his daughter and his wife, Arthur's mind is tortured in his heartbreak of being unable to intervene or help, yearning more than ever to hold his loving family near and reassure them that everything is going to be ok.
Thriving on the love and strength of her friends, Alice struggles with mental illness under the care of her regular consultant Dr Chivers at the foreboding Grange House, a local clinic for patients whose ailments are a little, shall we say, different...
Alice's progress has been stalling of late. That is until the esteemed Dr Reubenstein arrives in town, and things begin to take a sinister twist.
Aided and abetted by a blossoming love interest, Pete the boy next door, whom the rest of the people in town for some reason don't seem to approve of, Alice seeks to unravel the darker secrets of the new doctor, and the work being conducted at Grange House.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll fall in and out of love, and then do it all again. An emotional journey of loss, joy, tragedy, deceit and hope.
A heart-warming tale. Witty, charming and delightful, with characters you can't help but fall in love with.
A tale which reminds us we are human, and teaches us to appreciate the love and support of those closest to our hearts.
313 pages, Paperback
First published September 27, 2022
7 people are currently reading
1,599 people want to read
About the author
Amesbury Clarke
2 books125 followersTaking the term ‘pen name’ quite literally, his favourite biro is also called Amesbury.
A writer who holds a BSC and MSC in 2 very varying subjects. Multi-talented with an eclectic blend of styles, he writes adult-fiction, children's-fiction, comedy, sporting-biographies, history, nature-guides, fantasy-adventure and poetry. There's actually very little he doesn't write, advocating that variety is the spice of life. His debut novel 'Without MAlice' was released in late-2022, with many follow-up books currently in the pipeline.
“There's no shortage of ideas, just a shortage of time in which to apply them all”.
A writer who holds a BSC and MSC in 2 very varying subjects. Multi-talented with an eclectic blend of styles, he writes adult-fiction, children's-fiction, comedy, sporting-biographies, history, nature-guides, fantasy-adventure and poetry. There's actually very little he doesn't write, advocating that variety is the spice of life. His debut novel 'Without MAlice' was released in late-2022, with many follow-up books currently in the pipeline.
“There's no shortage of ideas, just a shortage of time in which to apply them all”.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
December 8, 2022
If you want to shed tears of both sadness and joy, then this is the story for you. Most books I only read once, a rare few I read twice. This is definitely getting a re-read. Favourites shelf.
December 17, 2022
This is not just a book you read, it's a book you feel. Poor Alice goes through so much, When a book makes you feel emotional you know the author has done their job. I don't know what ideas or experiences influenced the story, but it certainly reminded me we're human. Life is so wonderful, yet so very fragile and breakable. It's all about how well we battle through our adversities, and piece ourselves back together again at the end. A truly heart-wrenching tale, full of love and hope.
December 3, 2022
Without MAlice is one of those books where you get to the end, and go "Ah-ha, now I see!".
I've read this twice, and thought it was more enjoyable knowing the outcome. I won't give spoilers but some of the scenes are so much better when you know what it's all leading to. It was almost like reading a different book the 2nd time around, as I viewed every single scene differently, particularly the early chapters which were a little slow moving in places. But it all had a purpose, the early chapters were setting the scene for the exciting action to come. But on 2nd reading the earlier chapters took on new meaning and were a lot more enjoyable because I knew where it was leading. Maybe this is the joy of a novel like this, it leaves room for reflection, our feelings on things often change between living in the moment and looking back with reflection. It's ok to change our opinions and our viewpoints when we find out the whole story later on.
I've read this twice, and thought it was more enjoyable knowing the outcome. I won't give spoilers but some of the scenes are so much better when you know what it's all leading to. It was almost like reading a different book the 2nd time around, as I viewed every single scene differently, particularly the early chapters which were a little slow moving in places. But it all had a purpose, the early chapters were setting the scene for the exciting action to come. But on 2nd reading the earlier chapters took on new meaning and were a lot more enjoyable because I knew where it was leading. Maybe this is the joy of a novel like this, it leaves room for reflection, our feelings on things often change between living in the moment and looking back with reflection. It's ok to change our opinions and our viewpoints when we find out the whole story later on.
August 26, 2023
This was a really interesting and surrealist novel about grief, trauma and finding comfort in the cyclical nature of joy and sorrow in life.
Whilst the concept is sound and the narrative style was very poetic (as a deceased father watching his daughter and widow’s lives).. i think some of the heart that this book had was lost in the plot which was a little too fantastical for my liking - coming across as overly dramatic rather than well paced.
Something i really enjoyed was the world building, and the creation of a this idyllic english village and village life - which felt very genuine and comforting
overall i did enjoy this story and the world Clarke created but I feel like the plot needed a bit more grounding for a “twist” to have effective payoff.
Whilst the concept is sound and the narrative style was very poetic (as a deceased father watching his daughter and widow’s lives).. i think some of the heart that this book had was lost in the plot which was a little too fantastical for my liking - coming across as overly dramatic rather than well paced.
Something i really enjoyed was the world building, and the creation of a this idyllic english village and village life - which felt very genuine and comforting
overall i did enjoy this story and the world Clarke created but I feel like the plot needed a bit more grounding for a “twist” to have effective payoff.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 7, 2023
Such a powerful and wonderful read. A stunning tale and beautifully written.
January 19, 2023
(*Edit/Additional: I stayed up until 3am to finish the last few chapters. Yes it's one of those books!)
I can't decide which parts I like most in this story, there's too many good points to know where to begin.
- It's worth reading for the love-story element between Alice and Pete. A classic dreamy romance. Lots of humor and lots of fun and happy memories being made together.
- Then there's the bereavement aspect, which hits Alice hard, and likewise her mother whose deceased husband narrates the story.
- And of course the main element, Alice's mental illness, around which the whole story revolves.
- The mental hospital itself is also a great setting. Lots of atmosphere and a haunting feel.
There's no one element which dominates the story, they all work together in a very well balanced and well plotted story. It's a thriller, a romance, a mystery, a coming of age adventure, and a haunting ghostlike tale all rolled in to one. There's too many talking points in this book to fit into a review. It's a definite book-club discussion piece.
I can't decide which parts I like most in this story, there's too many good points to know where to begin.
- It's worth reading for the love-story element between Alice and Pete. A classic dreamy romance. Lots of humor and lots of fun and happy memories being made together.
- Then there's the bereavement aspect, which hits Alice hard, and likewise her mother whose deceased husband narrates the story.
- And of course the main element, Alice's mental illness, around which the whole story revolves.
- The mental hospital itself is also a great setting. Lots of atmosphere and a haunting feel.
There's no one element which dominates the story, they all work together in a very well balanced and well plotted story. It's a thriller, a romance, a mystery, a coming of age adventure, and a haunting ghostlike tale all rolled in to one. There's too many talking points in this book to fit into a review. It's a definite book-club discussion piece.
December 11, 2022
Beautiful, heartbreaking, and full of warmth.
Alice and Pete are my new favourite lost souls.
5 hearts rating ♥ ♡♥ ♡♥
Alice and Pete are my new favourite lost souls.
5 hearts rating ♥ ♡♥ ♡♥
February 6, 2023
GRIPPING!
If you're looking for a really good mystery Without MAlice definitely fits the bill. The mystery is quite cleverly worked, in that you're not entirely sure what the mystery is until near the end. You just know that something is wrong with either Alice, the town, the Mental Hospital, or one of the other characters, but you don't know who or what, you suspect EVERYONE and every thing. There's a smattering of clues to keep the brain-cogs turning and trying to figure out the answers. You're not sure whether it's something sinister, something innocent or something supernatural, the book just keeps you guessing about all of these possibilities and more. You're left thinking that maybe somebody is murdering people, or maybe the lead character Alice is dead, or maybe her mother has killed someone, or perhaps the doctors at Grange House are involved in some sadistic game, or did Alice's deceased father do something untoward, or perhaps there's a supernatural demon or curse on the town, or is another person in town up to something, and what's the story with the other patients. I just couldn't figure out who the bad guy or guys were. The story was a slow build but by the half way point I couldn't put the book down. A VERY GRIPPING read.
If you're looking for a really good mystery Without MAlice definitely fits the bill. The mystery is quite cleverly worked, in that you're not entirely sure what the mystery is until near the end. You just know that something is wrong with either Alice, the town, the Mental Hospital, or one of the other characters, but you don't know who or what, you suspect EVERYONE and every thing. There's a smattering of clues to keep the brain-cogs turning and trying to figure out the answers. You're not sure whether it's something sinister, something innocent or something supernatural, the book just keeps you guessing about all of these possibilities and more. You're left thinking that maybe somebody is murdering people, or maybe the lead character Alice is dead, or maybe her mother has killed someone, or perhaps the doctors at Grange House are involved in some sadistic game, or did Alice's deceased father do something untoward, or perhaps there's a supernatural demon or curse on the town, or is another person in town up to something, and what's the story with the other patients. I just couldn't figure out who the bad guy or guys were. The story was a slow build but by the half way point I couldn't put the book down. A VERY GRIPPING read.
January 13, 2023
Comparing to similar books I'd say there's moments of Stephen King spookiness and atmosphere. Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar has definite similarities with the mental health story, the foreboding hospital and the doctors. And Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl could be easily compared to the love story element.
But there's more to this book than a hybrid tale, the story is the real strength, as the mystery of Alice's illness is eventually unraveled with alarming and sensational secrets revealed.
But there's more to this book than a hybrid tale, the story is the real strength, as the mystery of Alice's illness is eventually unraveled with alarming and sensational secrets revealed.
January 15, 2023
The characters in Without Malice are truly wonderful. The interplay between Alice and Pete is truly magical. Pete's hilarious, I think I might even be a teeny bit in love. The way they bounce things off each other had me in stitches. But the story is also very much tinged with tragedy too. Alice suffers from a mental condition caused by a tragic school-bus crash when she was 8 years old. The traumatic experience leaves her mind trying to shut out the gruesome memory, but cross-wires often cause the wrong memories to be forgotten. The full truth of the crash is revealed later on, with shocking revelations revealed when the doctors at Grange House attempt to cure her ailments and restore full memory to a now 21 year old Alice. When her full memory of the accident returns, the revelations turn her world completely upside down, but leave serious doubts over whether her treatment was a failure or a success. The story builds slowly into a gripping mystery of roller-coaster emotions. A magnificent read.
December 9, 2022
Wow! Emotional ride. I didn't know whether to cry more with happiness or cry more with sadness. Keep a box of tissues handy if you're planning to read this one. The mental health element is so well woven into a wider story, which not only shows the impact on the patient but also the impact on the people around her. Tragedy is such a difficult thing to cope with, the story here is one of extreme loss, and a mental inability to accept the truth. Alice's illness is very extreme, but she continues to live each day seemingly unaware of how serious her illness is until eventually everything explodes and her world turns completely upside down, back to front, and inside out. You start by thinking the story is about one thing, but then it turns out to be about something else altogether, which gives the reader a shared sense of what Alice is going through. One of the best psychology/mental illness novels I've read. This story will stick with me for some time.
January 18, 2023
A book which caught me by surprize. I went into it with low expectations despite a strong recommendation, but I now owe the recommender a great big thankyou. First book I've read in 2023, and what a great start to the year. Swaying between 4-5 stars. A story about a happy go lucky 21 year old girl with a largely unseen mental health condition caused by a childhood accident, but she does not realize that her condition is a lot more serious than it first seems. The plot thickens with each mysterious death of her former school-friends whose numbers are suspiciously shrinking. Is the new doctor up to something sinister? Is Alice's condition a part of the spate of deaths? Is her boyfriend Pete somehow involved? is the mental-clinic or the town haunted by a demon of malice? Or could there be another culprit in town? All is revealed as the intensity builds to a dramatic climax to the tale, where the full mystery of Alice's illness is finally solved.
May 4, 2023
This is an excellent book to cry to.
YA / Romance / Mental Hospital / Bereavement / Mystery-thriller. Covers key and interesting themes from a few different perspectives, and from the eyes of multiple characters, the main one being 21 year old Alice who (SPOILER ALERT) falls in love with her best friend Pete, who is actually an imaginary replacement of one of her deceased school-friends who all died in a coach crash 13 years ago. Alice is the only survivor of the crash, and her loneliness has made her mind create imaginary versions of the friends she lost. The doctors at the mental hospital are trying to cure her fantasies, removing her imaginary friends by killing them 1 by 1. They believe that if they can convince Alice's mind that somebody has died, then she will cease seeing their imaginary double.
YA / Romance / Mental Hospital / Bereavement / Mystery-thriller. Covers key and interesting themes from a few different perspectives, and from the eyes of multiple characters, the main one being 21 year old Alice who (SPOILER ALERT) falls in love with her best friend Pete, who is actually an imaginary replacement of one of her deceased school-friends who all died in a coach crash 13 years ago. Alice is the only survivor of the crash, and her loneliness has made her mind create imaginary versions of the friends she lost. The doctors at the mental hospital are trying to cure her fantasies, removing her imaginary friends by killing them 1 by 1. They believe that if they can convince Alice's mind that somebody has died, then she will cease seeing their imaginary double.
January 18, 2023
A quote from the Almost Famous movie made me think of this book: "If you ever get lonely just go to the record store and visit your friends". The characters in Without MAlice had a similar effect. I didn't so much read a story, I felt like I'd spent 18 chapters hanging out with a wonderful new group of friends. And I enjoyed every minute of their company. The last book which did this to me was Fangirl. Both are similarly character driven stories.
March 7, 2023
Looking for love. Looking for sanity. Looking for anything to make her life and her inner-sadness make sense. Alice is a truly beautiful soul, a warm and gentle character with a wicked sense of humour and a sense of fun in her heart. But all of this clouds a loneliness which lingers as a cloud from a haunting past. The story begins with a young female visiting a local mental hospital, and as the story unravels her trauma unravels with it. A very well written mystery, full of emotion and character depth. The author tells the story from the present day (set in 1990's), then gradually reveals the past and the cause of all of the curious events which are occuring. It's a bit of a "who done it", but more of a "what done it".
January 25, 2023
The best 3 mental-hospital novels I've read by far. The Bell Jar, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Without MAlice.
If you know of any others equally as worthy, please send recommendations.
If you know of any others equally as worthy, please send recommendations.
December 16, 2022
21 year old Alice experiences psychological illness caused by witnessing a traumatic event when she was 8 years old. As a natural defence against the trauma her young developing mind attempted to shut out the horrific memories, but often the wrong memories would be forgotten instead. Now 21, she still experiences random episodes of memory loss, and often struggles to determine reality from fantasy. The doctors at Grange House are attempting to cure her, by unravelling the complexities of her mind, so that they can undo the fantasies and erase them from her thoughts.
Meanwhile Alice’s mother, Judith, hides an unseen trauma of her own. After losing her husband when Alice was 2, she has raised Alice alone, heartbroken about her late husband but remaining strong externally for the sake of her daughter. But her own tribulations are causing cracks to show through.
The book depicts two very strong and independent female characters, but it also shows that even those who appear strong are still potentially fragile inside.
The story explores the subject of bereavement and loss from a number of interesting angles, with Judith’s deceased husband Arthur narrating the tale, watching on helplessly as a silent witness to the tribulations of his daughter and his wife.
The book sways often between fun, sadness, nostalgia, humour, strength and resolve, whilst dealing with a lot of issues and events which everybody must face at some point in their lives. Love and loss, relationships, illness, bereavement, and most of all the resilience to bounce back stronger from our tribulations.
All in all Without MAlice is a very human tale. Tearful and joyous in equal helpings, addressing the true beauty of human compassion and the human soul.
Meanwhile Alice’s mother, Judith, hides an unseen trauma of her own. After losing her husband when Alice was 2, she has raised Alice alone, heartbroken about her late husband but remaining strong externally for the sake of her daughter. But her own tribulations are causing cracks to show through.
The book depicts two very strong and independent female characters, but it also shows that even those who appear strong are still potentially fragile inside.
The story explores the subject of bereavement and loss from a number of interesting angles, with Judith’s deceased husband Arthur narrating the tale, watching on helplessly as a silent witness to the tribulations of his daughter and his wife.
The book sways often between fun, sadness, nostalgia, humour, strength and resolve, whilst dealing with a lot of issues and events which everybody must face at some point in their lives. Love and loss, relationships, illness, bereavement, and most of all the resilience to bounce back stronger from our tribulations.
All in all Without MAlice is a very human tale. Tearful and joyous in equal helpings, addressing the true beauty of human compassion and the human soul.
May 16, 2023
The characters, dialogue and pace, are all very 'Fangirl'. I liked this part a lot. The plot is quite a slow build. I'd say it's definitely character driven. If you like the characters from the off you'll probably enjoy it. If you don't take to them quickly you probably never will.
January 15, 2023
LOVED this book. It's a slow build, with a growing sense that all is not completely well in the small town where Alice and her mother live. By the mid-way point the action really begins to kick in as the mysteries of Alice's past are questioned and investigated by Alice and her boyfriend Pete. The author takes the subject of grief and uses it wonderfully to create a thriller of a plot.
April 30, 2023
An intriguing mental hospital mystery/thriller with some good twists, and a strong side-story too. It seems like a normal story for the 1st half, but with a sense that all is not entirely how it seems, but you can't figure out who the villain(s) might be. The story keeps you guessing all the way through as the plot gradually thickens.
January 10, 2023
Emotional. VERY emotional. I laughed, I sobbed, I pulled myself back together, then I gave this book a big hug. Alice and Pete are both lost souls. Lost in their own beautiful and individual ways, always together yet always apart. They had me in pieces with laughter and tears.
April 12, 2023
Not my cuppa. I found this book to be so slow and so repetitive, I put it down several times. It has such good reviews I forced myself to finish it thinking the twist would be worth it…it wasn’t. Too each his own.
January 17, 2023
Brilliant debut. Starts slow but gradually builds. And boy is it worth the early scene-setting once the plot begins to unravel. The atmosphere can be felt with some wonderful scene-setting.
July 24, 2023
Everyone should read this book! Wonderful!!
September 28, 2023
The narrative was beautifully written, and I savored every word
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June 21, 2024Good book would recommend. Had to keep coming back to it. Had other books I was reading. Not my normal reading material.
July 27, 2024
It's like a murder mystery, except it's not "technically" murder. But is it murder really? It is, but it's not, but in some ways it is. That's the mystery, is it or isn't it. It plays with the mind.
August 10, 2024
This is not my typical selection of a book. It was a little bit much for my tastes, however I do like to read different types of books. Back to my favs now…
March 19, 2023
Gripping! Thrilling! Emotional!!!
I loved the mystery element. And the love-story side to it.
I loved the mystery element. And the love-story side to it.
May 8, 2023
This book was brilliant! I spent a lot of the story trying to figure out the 2 doctors, not knowing whether they were the bad guys or whether they were goodies. There's so many strong characters in this book, and lots of themes and talking points. At one point I thought it was a love story, then I thought it was a mental-health drama, a tale of bereavement, a plot about coming of age, a story of rebuilding and triumphing over the odds, a comedy, a tragedy, a horror, a supernatural suspense. It touches on all of these, but focuses heavily on 1 or 2 of those as key themes. But most of all it's a book where the characters become your friends, that's the part which stuck with me the most. It's a story packed with warmth and joy.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews