First: if there were a finite number of exclamation points to be used in all of literature, this book would have used the last of them.
Had I realizedFirst: if there were a finite number of exclamation points to be used in all of literature, this book would have used the last of them.
Had I realized that an entire month+ would pass while I struggled through Crime and Punishment, I would have avoided it as diligently as I avoid crime and punishment in real life.
It wasn't difficult to read in a 'billion-year-old Russian classic' kind of way; the translation (Pevear and Volokhonsky) I read was as smooth and comprehensible as I think the text allowed. However:
That a character might go on with an internal or external monologue for several dense pages, unbroken by paragraphs;
That said monologues were painfully repetitive and often (intentionally) senseless;
That characters almost unrelentingly shouted at each other, cried out over things, and collapsed onto couches;
That I don't love reading from the POV of a drunken or drugged character, and that this preference apparently applies to Russian former students in states of mental collapse;
This book was too long by a million-ish pages. Still, you might enjoy it if you like the kind of story that relies heavily on the utter stupidity of iThis book was too long by a million-ish pages. Still, you might enjoy it if you like the kind of story that relies heavily on the utter stupidity of its main characters, and where each fresh coincidence is more unbelievable than the last.
You will definitely savor these pages if you like a book where the main characters lose everything or have it taken from them, and then they lose the things they forgot they had in their pockets, and then the pockets themselves are taken. And when it seems they truly have nothing left, just when you think they have hit bottom, along comes yet another villain to proactively take from them any scraps they might have the potential to earn in the future. Every single terrible thing that can happen to them, does. Often, as I mentioned, because they are raging idiots.
Good news for those who love to be both bored and confused by their choice of fiction! The Quincunx is endlessly and needlessly complicated, pages and pages about the godforsaken codicil, the property entailed, the fee simple and the base-fee, etc etc. These concepts are discussed repeatedly and at length throughout the narrative and it is just as deadly boring as it sounds.
To further complicate matters the author has helpfully reused several of the names. There are more than one Harry (one of which is sometimes called Henry), several Johns, I'm not sure how many Jameses and at least two Thomases. Also, sometimes names are spelled differently for no point that I could see, for example Hougham and Huffam.
Speaking of names, 90% of the surnames were compound words and the other 10% were just bizarre. Compound words: Leatherbarrow, Stringfellow, Acehand, Steplight, Twelvetrees, Bellringer, Beaglehole, Gildersleeve, Rookyard, Stillingfleet, Silverleaf. Bizarre: Umphraville, Phumphred, Palphramond.
DNF, despite a truly valiant attempt to persevere. I could not do it. No rating because I suspect it's a case of international intrigue not being the DNF, despite a truly valiant attempt to persevere. I could not do it. No rating because I suspect it's a case of international intrigue not being the genre for me.
At one point I wrote this note: I don't understand, who are all the people, what do all the words mean?
On the bright side, if I'm ever looking for a career change - I think I might make an excellent spy, due to being so visibly confused at all times that no observer would suspect me of knowing my own business, let alone anyone else’s....more
I kind of want to write, as my review, one meaningless yet clever sentence and then not spend any more time with this book. My fingers however betray I kind of want to write, as my review, one meaningless yet clever sentence and then not spend any more time with this book. My fingers however betray me and apparently will not stop typing until I have listed all the things I disliked or in some cases hated about The Bee Sting. Here goes.
1. Most importantly almost always: this book was at least 200 pages too long. Possibly 300 - 400. My God it was so long and it felt even longer.
2. Why Imelda's VERY EXTREMELY LONG section had to be written with no punctuation will mystify me until the end of - well probably till the end of today, outside chance of it lingering till the end of this week. Maybe it had some meaning I failed to perceive. It was intensely annoying either way.
3. I don't think of myself as particularly old-fashioned, but I do love quotation marks around dialogue. Maybe there are reasons to occasionally shun them, or to shun them over an entire 700+ page novel that ALREADY FELT TOO LONG. Try to convince me that any of those reasons are good ones and you will fail.
4. The blazing obliviousness of at least one of the main characters, leading to each of that character's decisions being more blazingly idiotic than the last.
5. Speaking of which - much of the drama here crosses quite frequently into melodrama. Which I guess helped to fill up the 700+ pages?
6. Threads that were left dangling - for example, the friend named Nev - why was he even needed? The correct answer is: he wasn't. See point #1 above.
7. The ending. I might discuss the ending in the comments of this review if anyone cares to, but I'm not going to spoil it here. Because if Paul Murray couldn't be bothered to write an ending, then I'm not going to bother with it either.
Anyway. Definitely read if you always love the award-winning novels. I see that just today the Booker was announced and it did not go to The Bee Sting, but it may as well have. ...more
"Her hair was dark and cut unevenly, in a way that he found secretly thrilling. He knew that when it got too long she c
Thoughts:
I hated this book.
"Her hair was dark and cut unevenly, in a way that he found secretly thrilling. He knew that when it got too long she cut it herself, fast and carelessly, not necessarily in the presence of a mirror."
UGH
"Violently beautiful sunsets could reduce her to tears. She was virtually incapacitated by fireflies."
STOP
Is there such a thing as a depressive pixie dream girl?
There's the same kind of floating in and out of the lives of various characters at various times
And you know I just couldn't believe any of it, not one thing, not Lilia's inability to stay, not the obsession that more than one character suffered because of her leaving
Christopher's clairvoyance - what was that? For that matter, what even was Christopher??
Is it possible there are two Emily St John Mandels?
Everyone in This Book Probably Wishes They Had Been in a Different One Instead.
Aside from that, it was boring. And overly convoluted.
There were unlikEveryone in This Book Probably Wishes They Had Been in a Different One Instead.
Aside from that, it was boring. And overly convoluted.
There were unlikely plot elements, like a "mandatory" family reunion. For adults. Who I guess were not allowed to miss it. There was a major snowstorm that prevented anyone from leaving the ski resort, except for during the lull in the storm, when ALL THE OTHER GUESTS aside from the family in question managed to leave fairly easily. There was a claim that a punch from an old man would have floored the narrator had that old man only been wearing a Rolex, because apparently a Rolex is that heavy. Which leaves one to wonder, if the thing is that heavy, could the old man even lift his arm to execute the punch? We will never know.
And then there were the author interjections:
"I had to be standing on the roof to get a single bar of reception, and even then it was hit and miss. Which I'm well aware is, like, a thing in these books. You'll just have to get over it."
"Before you accuse me of dragging out the reveal of her exiting the truck..."
"My editor has left a helpful note that it is called a loupe, so I'll pretend to be educated and use the proper word from now on."
As for the resolution I can only hope it hasn't put me off golden age mysteries for good. ...more
I am so glad to be done with this book. Having finished it I realize I don't know what it was supposed to be and it turns out I am okay with that.
BecaI am so glad to be done with this book. Having finished it I realize I don't know what it was supposed to be and it turns out I am okay with that.
Because I took a lot of notes and I hate for that to be wasted effort, some random observations, all possible spoilers:
(view spoiler)[Holistik is described as a hugely successful company flocked to by celebrities and other wealthy individuals (and couples!) yet the owner, Victor, (who seems to own other enterprises aside from this one) apparently interviews all new sales people. And is found in the store regularly. IDK.
The unnamed MC takes a better-paying Holistik-adjacent job as a so-called sex worker. She gets to work and they get her ready and then after that she remembers nothing, eventually waking up in her own bed with no idea how she got there. This happens more than once and she seems to shrug it off. One of these occasions she wakes up in a bed full of blood. Then she finds out her badly injured parents are deteriorating and goes to stay with them for a week. So I guess the new job as well as the old one is fine with her absence, and that she is fine with all the lost blood.
There are switches between past and present tense that cannot possibly be on purpose.
One character mentions that she makes the ceramic jars for the Holistik products. ONE PERSON. Later she clarifies that well, she doesn't make ALL of them anymore. Thank goodness for her I guess.
There are weird incidents that maybe are meant to be satirical but struck me as just weird. Like a woman nursing a gibbon.
At the end the MC sets everyone on fire by moving a lens and redirecting sunlight, even though the same lens/sunlight combination did not ignite the pile of bodies it had previously been pointed at. No clue how this happened.
As a result of the magical lens fire, Victor's head is engulfed in flames, even the inside of his mouth. Somehow he manages to track the MC down anyway, and MC then tries to strangle him with a telephone cord that "disintegrates instantly" as soon as she wraps it around his burning neck. He not only survives this but nearly chokes the life out of MC before managing to escape. Alive. Head still presumably aflame. (hide spoiler)]
I suppose there were some good elements to this book, I will leave them for the more positive reviewers to describe....more
I don't remember much about The Nest but I seem to recall liking it, somewhere back there in the decade that was my forties. Maybe I'd have liked thisI don't remember much about The Nest but I seem to recall liking it, somewhere back there in the decade that was my forties. Maybe I'd have liked this one back then, too. Who can say. I was a basically a child in those days.
I do not know (though I would really like to) what the criteria are for choosing a Pulitzer winner. I don't know what kinds of people are on the commiI do not know (though I would really like to) what the criteria are for choosing a Pulitzer winner. I don't know what kinds of people are on the committee, or how many members this committee has, or even if there is a committee at all. I think there must be, and I say that because I've been on several committees myself and I know how easy it is for a bunch of otherwise rational humans to talk themselves into questionable decisions when they are part of - I've already said this word too many times but I can't help it - a committee.
In any case I am not saying that I can judge a great book versus a not-great book better than the Pulitzer people can. I am saying, however, that I can judge what I myself do and do not like better than the Pulitzer people can. Less was boring. And had a narrator that sometimes referred to himself in the first person, and who referred to the main character as "Arthur Less" instead of just "Arthur" way too often.
Worse, though: the colons. Maybe other books I've loved have used as many colons as Less does - but these particular colons: so annoying. Here is an example:
"Picture him: the balding blond of his hair, the semi-frown on his face, the wrinkled white shirt, the bandaged left hand, the bandaged right foot, the stained leather satchel, and his beautiful gray tailored suit. Picture him: almost glowing in the dark."
I pictured him for 262 pages and I am glad I'm done.
I have just done something I've never done before, and that is to read the first 25% of a book, realize I have no desire to go any further, and then sI have just done something I've never done before, and that is to read the first 25% of a book, realize I have no desire to go any further, and then skim the final chapter to reassure myself that the ending was not worth the slog it would have been to get there.
Bottom line: I rest reassured and can DNF with no regrets. I will not miss the flat characters, including a near-comical bad guy who has had the glove box in his car gold-plated. I mean - I don't even know what I mean. That's just such an unlikely and absurd detail.
I will miss the characters I thought I was going to read about, but I expect a fast and easy recovery.
Almost as annoying as the story itself was the fact that some of the chapters are actually diary entries by Joyce, one of the main characters. These entries are in an entirely different font than the rest of the book, and so much smaller that when reading on a Kindle (as I was), one is forced to adjust the text size up for the diary chapters (and not just a point up, but several), and then back down again for the other chapters. Why why why would they do that? That's the real mystery here, if you ask me....more
Well...I guess that's what I get for wanting to be entertained by an 88-year-old murderess.
I suspect something may have been lost in translation. The Well...I guess that's what I get for wanting to be entertained by an 88-year-old murderess.
I suspect something may have been lost in translation. The words, the sentences, the paragraphs were so exceptionally bland. Here's an example:
"Maud had been home for only a couple of days when the doorbell suddenly rang. Those days it was a rare occurrence, so Maud went to see who was there. Through the peephole she could see a woman standing outside."
Worse than the translation issues though (if they were translation issues at all, maybe the original is just as boring), was the character of Maud. Hardly anything interesting about her. She kills people. And not always for reasons that convinced even me, a reader who was more than willing to be convinced. There were no believable side characters; in fact, there were hardly any side characters at all. The whole thing was just - a huge disappointment.
Not that huge. I read it in less than two hours. I have the next installment here fresh from the library, but I think Maud and I will part ways without my ever picking it up....more
Prior to reading this book I had shelved it as satire because that's what it claims to be. It is not. It is the most farcical farce I have ever been ePrior to reading this book I had shelved it as satire because that's what it claims to be. It is not. It is the most farcical farce I have ever been exposed to outside of a 1980s sitcom.
Instead of a plot we have one scene following another in which the characters, both main and secondary, become more and more ridiculous. I only kept reading because once I got so far, I had to stay to see how it would all fall apart. I mean, I had to believe it was all going to fall apart in the end. And in the meantime Boyne made abundantly clear his dislike for cancel culture, performative wokeism (wokeness? I don't know), internet trolls, and so on and so on and so on.
And then in the end I think we are all meant to believe that the phones are responsible for all of it.
Bottom line is if you've never read John Boyne before DO NOT START HERE....more
Two stars because I finished it; one star taken away due to cataclysmic disappointment.
This could have been so good, even with the dual timelines. I Two stars because I finished it; one star taken away due to cataclysmic disappointment.
This could have been so good, even with the dual timelines. I wanted vengeful and vicious women, obviously powerless in 1790's London, but powerful after all, by way of the killer apothecary.
I did not get what I wanted. At all.
What I did get was a plot with so many unbelievable/laughable elements that at certain points I was highlighting nearly everything I read. It got rather unmanageable. Here are some of the best/worst:
(view spoiler)[A main character who gave up everything she'd ever wanted to do in life, in a literal instant, to marry her college sweetheart and work as a clerk on her family's farm. I did not know they had clerks on farms but that is entirely beside the point.
Another main character who installs a secret room in her apothecary shop, and then moves the whole enterprise to said secret room. Why couldn't the regular apothecary business still go on out front, and the poisoning in the back? Sort of like a mullet.
A self-professed devotee of British literature, Victorian literature in particular, has never heard of mudlarking. She also holds a degree in British history.
In London, the MC's boyfriend becomes very ill and calls her, saying he thinks he needs to go to a hospital. He says, "I tried dialing 911, but it's not going through." In London. As if that weren't bad enough, the MC then rushes out of a coffee shop and runs all the way back to their hotel room to help the boyfriend herself, rather than ask the person she's having coffee with, or I don't know anyone at all how a person might go about getting emergency medical care in London, and then doing that thing.
A maid makes a damning wax impression of an apothecary vial. Her mistress says: "If she had any smarts, she would have stolen the jar itself to give to the police, but I suppose she was scared someone might walk in and catch her stuffing it into her gown." Whereas I suppose making a wax impression is the more expedient route.
The apothecary leaves her carefully recorded list of killers behind, in the apothecary, where any officer of the law could easily find it. Instead it remains there untouched for over 200 years. Better yet, she left it (instead of burning it, throwing it into the river, etc) because she refused to "erase" these women. "History might dismiss these women, but I would not." Who cares, I guess, if they are hanged for murder? As long as they are not forgotten. Really.
The present-day MC enters an unlocked building and looks around. She later hopes to "avoid admitting to the worst wrongdoing of all, which was that I'd breached a precious historical site."
The "risk-averse" boyfriend of the MC drinks toxic eucalyptus oil on purpose, as a way to encourage the MC to forgive and forget his cheating.
At the end of the book the MC throws the vial that started the whole thing back into the river. Apparently she wants to keep it her own precious secret. Even though she plans to write a dissertation about the whole thing. (hide spoiler)]
On the bright side I am now inspired to write my own version of what this should have been....more
I don't even wish I had liked this book better, because then I might continue to trust BOTM to deliver a good thriller.
Full of ridiculous setups ((viI don't even wish I had liked this book better, because then I might continue to trust BOTM to deliver a good thriller.
Full of ridiculous setups ((view spoiler)[really? Why would Rory and Bruce communicate via typing notes back and forth in a Google doc? (hide spoiler)]) and beyond ridiculous coincidences ((view spoiler)[Danielle is Liz's daughter! Rory might have killed an ex-girlfriend and right now some random character decides to come forward with it! Oh my god all the burner phones! (hide spoiler)]
Mainly it just irked me that by being a BOTM option, this book is equated with one like Leave the World Behind....more
• Are amused and charmed by a bank robber/hostage taker that says, “No one’s listening to me! You’re the worst hostages ever!”
Read this book if you:
• Are amused and charmed by a bank robber/hostage taker that says, “No one’s listening to me! You’re the worst hostages ever!”
• Enjoy a book where every single line aims to be more delightful and adorable than the last
• Love exclamation points
• Prefer to be beaten over the head with messages, possibly literally if you end up finishing this one and feeling the way I do about it
• Are intrigued by a book about which someone (me) wrote a virtual marginal note that reads: Oh dear god I hate it
• Or another note that reads: I cannot express how ridiculous this is
• Are in the mood to become enraged by fictional people being questioned by fictional police officers
• Find this analogy to be not only sensible, but also so cute:
"Julia nodded toward the bathroom door, held her hand out toward the bank robber, and demanded: ‘Give me the pistol.’ ‘Absolutely…absolutely not! What are you thinking of doing?’ the bank robber stammered, hiding the pistol from view like it was a kitten and someone had just asked the bank robber if anyone had seen a kitten anywhere.”
To decide for yourself whether you'd love this book or not, check out some examples of sentences you will actually read in a pDear God. I finished it.
To decide for yourself whether you'd love this book or not, check out some examples of sentences you will actually read in a presumably edited, published novel:
"The black-suited gentleman stepped back to permit our entrance into the rooms with wide windows looking out onto Broadway and framed with gold-trimmed curtains." (Did the black-suited gentleman step back with wide windows? IDK)
"As Patrick took my coat and placed it on a shipping box turned upside down to form a table, the only surface not crowded with drying clothes and Maeve’s needlework, and Maeve returned to her cooking, I got my first look at their new lodgings, a single room." (I truly do not know what to say about this one)
"Unlike our other stops over the six days it had taken us to get from Pittsburgh to the nation’s largest city with over eight hundred thousand people, we were disembarking." (So the other stops didn't disembark, but they did. I guess.)...more
We Are All Mad Here
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