Kirby's Lessons for Falling [in Love]

by Laura Gao

“I’m once again blown away by Laura Gao’s ability to make me relate to someone completely different from myself. Get ready to experience the epic highs and lows of high school rock climbing.”—Sonora Reyes, National Book Award finalist and bestselling author of The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School

Once dubbed the Queen of Balance as her school’s top rock climber, Kirby Tan suffers an injury that sidelines her for the rest of the season. Now she’s forced to join the newspaper club for some desperately needed extra credit. Worse, she’s recruited by crystal-wearing, tarot-reading Bex Santos for her astrology-based love advice column. As Kirby reluctantly agrees to orchestrate “matches made in heaven” with Bex, she begins to wonder if their own stars could be aligned. But loving who she wants isn’t so easy when her family and church community are on the line. Can Kirby pull off her greatest balancing act yet?

From Laura Gao, the acclaimed creator of Messy Roots, comes an authentic slow-burn romance and coming-of-age story perfect for fans of Heartstopper, lovers of astrology and tarot, and anyone looking for answers on the right way to fall (in love). 

Genres: Graphic Novels, Young Adult, LGBT, Romance, Contemporary, Queer, Comics

304 pages, Paperback

First published March 4, 2025

About the author

Laura Gao is a Chinese-American comics artist. Gao became famous when she released a short comic called "The Wuhan I Know" in response to the growing sinophobia due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The comic was later used as the basis for her graphic memoir called Messy Roots, released in March 2022.

Reviews

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

a heartwarming YA graphic novel about sapphic first love, rockclimbing, astrology, tarot, grief, and figuring out yourself out while making mistakes along the way. there's also the heavy matter of reconciling coming out with religious family ties.

i just wish i vibed with the art style better! rtc!!

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins Children's Books for providing me with a copy of this book in return for an honest review.

[Anniek · Rating 3 out of 5]

This didn't entirely live up to my expectations, and honestly I ended up with mixed feelings. I thought this story was good, but it didn't stand out to me as something that will stay with me. I feel like I've read similar stories before and have enjoyed some of them more. It didn't help that I struggled with the art style - I didn't find the characters very recognizable, so I struggled to tell them apart and keep track of who's who, which made it harder to follow along with the narrative. I did enjoy the writing, the humour and the colour scheme, but it wasn't enough for me to really enjoy this.

[Frank Chillura (OhYouRead) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have never understood the want to rock climb. It sounds like I’d sweat too much, fall too much, and I really do not like heights. BUT I look up to anyone that finds that kind of thing exciting. The stamina and strength it takes is commendable… just not for me.

Maybe that’s why I wanted to read Kirby’s Lessons For Falling (In Love). The idea that even if you climb, even if you fall, there are so many ways to pick yourself back up.

This was full of love, as well as sadness. There was more than one death of a family member that happened off page, as well as a lot more drama and sadness that brought many a tear to my eyes. So bring a box of tissues when you read this.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great YA graphic novel from Laura Gao, this time a Sapphic opposites attract romance between Kirby, a star rock climber and Bex, an astrology loving relationship advice geek. When Kirby falls in a competition and hurts her wrist she needs to find another extracurricular activity and chooses the newspaper club where she gets paired up with Bex working on an astrology-based matchmaking/advice column.

I loved the great cast of queer friend side characters, the complicated relationship Kirby has with her widowed single mother and the secondary storyline involving Kirby's grandfather who suffered a stroke when she came out and is now confined to a wheelchair. Full of family drama, high school antics, great illustrations, anxiety rep and tons of heart.

Recommended for fans of books like Laura Dean keeps breaking up with me by Mariko Tamaki. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!

[shatterinseconds · Rating 4 out of 5]

*3.75 stars

[Eliott · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kirby's Lessons for Falling (in Love)
Overall Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ .5 (3.5/5) or 7.00/10 overall

Characters - 7

Atmosphere - 8

Writing - 7

Plot - 7

Intrigue - 7

Logic - 7

Enjoyment - 6

[andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the advanced digital copy!

this book will be out Mar 04 2025.

--

this is a sweet little graphic novel about grief, discovering yourself, and being honest in your own identity too.

kirby tan is a climber, something she started out doing with her beloved dad by her side. years later, kirby's a great climber, largely disciplined by her balance, but her dad has passed on, which is something that's maybe made kirby a little bit afraid of risks. this fear leads her to a hand injury and she's off climbing for a while, but decides to fill the space by joining the school newspaper, writing horoscopes and connecting people.

maybe here's the place kirby finds her people - there's bex, always porting around a broken piece of amber as a talisman from her last relationship and maybe from the world, too. kirby knows all about finding faith in things - she's a member of her church and she likes it, but she also knows that if they find out about her queerness then maybe they won't love her back.

this little graphic novel is about carving out your own identity and how toxic it is to operate out of fear. about how listening to the opinions of others will only negatively impact your own life, not change you into the person that they want you to become. i felt like some of the plot/narrative was a bit murky and unclear at times, which is why i couldn't rate this one a five. but overall a solid, cute read.

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kirby’s Lessons for Falling [in Love] is an interesting & beautifully emotional slowburn, opposites attract young adult romance between a rock climber & a relationship advice columnist with a passion for astrology. I was in awe of the artwork & I loved the way in which it told the story & evoked so much emotion. This book made me realize I need to read more graphic novels. As a rock climber, I loved seeing rock climbing featured. It bouldered its way into my heart. I also appreciated the difficult & important topics it covered. This was a fascinating young adult graphic novel that is easy to fall for.

Kirby’s Lessons for Falling [in Love] Is great for those looking to read…
💙 Graphic Novels
💙 YA Sapphic Romance
💙 Opposites Attract
💙 Forced Proximity- Newspaper Club
💙 Rock Climber x Astrology Loving Relationship Advice Columnist

Thank you to Epic Reads & StoryGram tours for the gifted copy, which I voluntarily read & reviewed.

[Merritt · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are a lot of ways to fall in life, think trick is knowing how to get back up again.

Thank you to #NetGalley and Harper Collins for this copy of #KirbysLessonsForFallingInLove in exchange for my honest review.

If you've gotten your fill of Heartstopper and want a mixed-race, southern American, lesbian take on the slow burn queer high school romance give this book a chance. Kirby's Lessons for Falling does a great job at weaving so many elements of the two main character's stories to create an interesting narrative dealing with religion, queer acceptance, grief, and coming into oneself as a young adult. 

I don't really want to say much else about it, as I think the story will speak for itself. Truly I only had a few small issues with this book - 1. The digital format split pages that are meant to be full spreads so I had to turn the page back and forth (always a nitpick for me), 2. The art style got a little muddy so sometimes things were hard to follow but the story line does a good job of leading you through that, 3. There's an attempted serial assault situation that caught me off guard. It's not graphic, the panels are short, and the friends put a stop to anything before something actually happens but it's there and something to look out for if that's sensitive for you.

Overall though, the messages are clear and important and worth checking out. 

[Meggie Ramm · Rating 3 out of 5]

Competitive rock-climber Kirby is forced to join the school newspaper after a fall, and slowly starts to fall for Bex, the writer of an astrology based love column. But how does her queer identity fit in with her mom's church community? And what will she do when her bone heals and she has to leave newspaper for climbing? 

This graphic novel had a lot of moving parts: rock climbing arch rivals, the death of a parent, acceptance and rejection by a church community, living with a family member with dementia, and a love story. Occasionally it was hard to find a main through line. The organic quality of the art made for a lovely comic, but that plus the multiple plot points led to me getting confused more than once. 

A lovely story with a phenomenal cover.

[Mimsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the e-ARC of Kirby's Lessons for Falling (in Love)!
4.5 / 5 ⭐

A cute coming of age (and coming out) high school story. Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (in Love) features a slew of dynamic LGBTQIA+ characters, complicated teenage hormones, and a bittersweet ending. In addition to the expected themes, we also have multiple brief depictions of death, illness / medical decline, and grief.

[Sean Briere · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really interested and locked in the very beginning of this graphic novel, especially all the stuff having to do with climbing. Once the character's story switched to her joining the school paper I was pretty bored. I stuck with it until close to 70%, but tbh it felt like torture. I was fully bored by this one.

[angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

yayyyy go laura 😻😻😻😻

[Nicole Austin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley and Harperalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Laura Gao’s “Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (In Love)” is a heartfelt YA graphic novel that focuses on romance and self-discovery with an honest look at identity and belonging. At its core, the story follows Kirby Tan, a rock-climbing prodigy whose world shifts after a falling injury forces her to step away from her sport. While recovering, she joins the school newspaper’s astrology column, where she’s paired with the outgoing and opinionated Bex. What starts as an unexpected partnership soon turns into something deeper, as Kirby navigates her growing feelings for Bex while struggling with the fear of coming out to her religious family.

Gao excels at capturing the highs and lows of high school life. The humor is sharp, with witty dialogue and small visual details—like club posters and exaggerated facial expressions—that bring the world to life. The supporting cast of queer friends adds warmth and authenticity, making the friendships feel both genuine and heartfelt. The slow-burn romance between Kirby and Bex is sweet, though it leans into some predictable YA tropes, such as jealousy and a third-act breakup. While the chemistry between them may not resonate with every reader, their dynamic offers a compelling contrast—Kirby’s cautious approach to life versus Bex’s unabashed confidence.

The story also tackles heavier themes, particularly around queerness and religion. Kirby’s struggle with coming out is complicated by her relationship with her widowed mother and the lingering impact of her grandfather’s stroke, which happened shortly after she came out to him. The story thoughtfully explores how religious spaces can be both a source of comfort and pain for queer individuals, as well as the judgment that can come from both inside and outside those communities.

While “Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (In Love)” is full of heart and important themes, some elements feel a bit underdeveloped. The sports aspect and the astrology club—both key parts of Kirby’s life—could have used more focus. The storytelling occasionally feels rushed or unclear, especially in the romance’s progression.

Despite these minor flaws, the story shines as a touching exploration of grief, identity, and the courage it takes to be yourself. The ending, though bittersweet, leaves you with a sense of hope and belonging. Perfect for middle-grade and teen readers, “Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (In Love)” is a charming, queer-positive read that will resonate with anyone who has ever struggled to carve out their own place in the world.

[YSBR · Rating 4 out of 5]

k? Kirby Tan got her love of rock climbing from her father, and she has continued to climb even after his passing. Her climbing team even nicknamed her the Queen of Balance. But when an injury sidelines Kirby after a failed dynamic move (“dyno”) at an important competition, she’ll need to find a school club to join for the rest of the season… little does she know it would change her entire world. Kirby’s Catholic church (and Chinese American) community has made her hesitant to be openly queer, but that aspect of her life becomes harder to hide after meeting crystal-wearing, tarot-reading Bex Santos. Can Kirby finally land a dyno in both her athletic and personal lives to get what she’s always wanted?

Gao anchors the plot around six lessons for falling that relate both to the sport of rock climbing and to the growing pains of life. While Kirby figures out how to live authentically without losing the church community that has been such a large part of her life since losing her dad, readers will also follow Kirby’s mom raising two kids on her own while also caring for her aging father after his stroke. Woven throughout is the life lesson for both Kirby and her mom that it’s ok to ask for help when you’re struggling. Eric and Astrid make for the perfect supporting cast for both Kirby and Bex as they learn to heal from the heartbreak in their lives. While dealing with some tough topics, Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (in Love) has a hopeful ending that many teen readers will be able to relate to even if they are not rock climbers or from an immigrant family. Kirby and Eric are Chinese American, Bex is Latine, and Astrid is trans. Link to complete review: https://ysbookreviews.wordpress.com/2...

[Astrophel R · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free arc in exchange for an honest review.

Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (In Love) is a graphic novel following Kirby Tan, a climbing prodigy who suffers from a falling injury and ends up joining her school’s newspaper club as an extracurricular while she recovers. She becomes co-editor for the astrology column with Bex who is very loud and opinionated.

Honestly, I think I would have enjoyed this a lot more if i read it when I was younger. This graphic novel is so quintessentially high school, and it does a really good job of showing how difficult it can be to reconcile being queer with having a religious family. I also liked how it explored the way that some queer people can also be very judgemental of queer people who stay religious, or keep their religious family around.

With that being said, I wasn’t invested in the main relationship. I just didn’t feel the chemistry between them. In part, I think this is because we got a quick montage of them catching feelings, then spent a lot more time on the pining after they already liked each other. There’s nothing wrong with establishing a relationship this way, but it’s not my preference.

[Adriana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kirby Tan learned to love rock climbing from her dad, but his loss and an accident that sidelines her has her feeling like her life has no foothold. Add the fact that she has a crush on the quirky girl she's working with on the school newspaper, and Kirby will have to decide if she can balance her wants and her family and community.

I love the story's themes and how deep Gao goes into all the hard topics. There are some truly emotional moments that hit all the right spots, be they sad or happy. Following along as Kirby regains her balance in a world where everything and everyone around her is pulling her in different directions and giving her mixed signals is an extreme flashback to teendom. Even if your situation wasn't as charged and complicated, you will connect to the things Kirby and friends face. I'd like to think it shows teens that everything can be overcome if you're open to listening and talking things out.

The art is cute and expressive, but the way the panels and text are arranged is sometimes super confusing. Nothing major, but it's a little annoying.

Very happy thanks to NetGalley and HarperAlley for the emotional read!

[mad mags · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through Edelweiss. Content warning for homophobia and allusions to rape.)

-- 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 where necessary --

When a rather spectacular fall sidelines high school sophomore Kirby Tan, she's forced to choose an extracurricular other than rock climbing to pad her college applications. Since her English grades are in the toilet, Kirby's high school counselor convinces her to join the high school newspaper. An already challenging placement strains the "Queen of Balance's" patience when she's paired with Beatrix "Bex" Santos. Kirby's mission, should she choose to accept (or even embrace) it? Help this astrology-loving, tarot card-reading, out and proud, queer hippie chick catapult her "Ask the Universe" advice column onto the screens of every kid at Lowell High.

Only Kirby doesn't believe in the stars, or possibly even love. Not since her baba died, way too young. Not since her mom joined a conservative Christian church in order to fill the void. And certainly not since her beloved yeye had a stroke - right after Kirby came out to her family.

I was really worried that I wouldn't enjoy KIRBY'S LESSONS FOR FALLING (IN LOVE). Bex's intro is over-the-top dramatic and I didn't really care for her initially. But she grew on me rather quickly, much as she did with Kirby. Kirby and Bex make a cute pair, and watching their friendship evolve - and then deepen - was pretty lovely. Best friends Eric and Astrid round out the friend group, and both characters are well developed. I especially loved (in a bittersweet way) the backstory of how Astrid and Bex met (in detention, natch).

[Lyndsay Durbin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the free eARC in exchange for an honest review!

This was cute! I've previously read Laura Gao's Messy Roots and so I was already familiar with Gao's art style and storytelling. I really enjoyed this one as well. I think Gao does a great job of portraying the various intricacies that come with life especially how people can choose who they invite in their life. Kirby and Bex were nice opposites in some ways and similar in others and were a great way to show these differences in life. One storytelling aspect that I think worked better in Messy Roots than here, is Gao's habit of jumping around in time. I think it worked well in Messy Roots with the memoir aspect but it was a bit more confusing here where we're in a fictional story and trying to keep track of the time passing.

[Amanda Shepard (Between-the-Shelves) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I enjoyed this, for the most part! Focusing on rock climbing is definitely unique for a YA book, and the teens will be able to relate to the storyline for the characters. Trying to balance your beliefs and your identity, finding acceptance with your family. Figuring out what track your life is going to take as a teenager. I also like Kirby's group of friends and how supportive they were of each other.

While I liked the art style and there are some gorgeous panels in this, there were times where it it was confusing. Specifically when flashbacks were included within the story. It also felt bit word-heavy at times, making it feel more like a graphic memoir than a fictional graphic novel. Not to say that those can't be word-heavy, but at times, it felt like it bogged down the story.

However, this is still an enjoyable story and one that I'll definitely recommend to teens!

[Brittany Lutz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an e-copy of this book. I’ll first start off by saying that I liked the art style and the overall message even if it was hard to discern. But I had a really hard time following along which is an issue that I’ve never with graphic novels. It seemed like the panels would just jump around and the text didn’t make sense in a lot of places. It felt like I was missing pages sometimes. There would be random characters that would pop up out of nowhere and talk and then the next panel they would be completely gone and it would be a new set of characters. There would be text bubbles that just sounded like they weren’t supposed to be there, and didn’t flow with the rest of the text on the page. It just made reading this a chore and unenjoyable.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kirby's Lessons for Falling (in Love) is a multi-cultural coming of age story when life comes at you from all sides-- a sidelining injury, a batch of new friends that come with trying to figure out what to with that sidelining injury, an immigrant family dealing with grief over years, both of those passed and those heading toward passing, familial and church expectations, the expectation of someone to love, maybe, and who needs to know about it...

It's a good graphic novel that seems at least partially memoir of friends-to-girlfriends while dealing with basically everything teenagedom has to throw at you.

Thank you to HarperCollins Children's Books | HarperAlley and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for review!

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed #LauraGao 's graphic memoir Messy Roots , so I was excited to read this ARC of #KirbysLessonsForFalling. The story follows Kirby Tan, a teen rock climber who experiences and injury that forces her to try a different club during the school year: newspaper. Here she meets Bex, who helps her write an astrology love column even though it's definitely not what Kirby would normally do. Kirby starts to fall for Bex, but also has to grapple with her feelings as well as her family, family responsibilities, and church community. There are moments of conflict, but overall a tale of exploration of who you are and what you want. A good purchase for HS libraries! Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC!

[Lucy Kirby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kirby's Lessons for Falling (in Love) follows rock climber Kirby Tan after she breaks her arm in a fall. Kirby is roped into joining the newspaper club as the co-author for its astrology romance column with Bex. The two initially butt heads as Kirby comes from a religious home and Bex is very into astrology, but quickly begin to understand each other better. The two start setting people up for their column, but realize there are feelings between themselves too. I enjoyed all the different characters in this, especially Kirby's grandfather, but I did struggle with the art style feeling too unfinished.
Thanks to NetGalley and HarperAlley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Carly Tucker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay so I thought this was such a cute beautiful little story! The graphics were just stunning and so cute and funny, I love it! It took me back to when I used to read bones and the sisters little comics back in elementary school, it was so cute! It was really different from anything I’ve ever read, I don’t remember if I’ve ever read anything where one of the main characters is a rock climber! How amazing! Or that they fall for astronomy lover lol but overall it was a cute story that was really fun to read! I’m very thankful for storygram tours and epic reads for this gifted copy! I had a blast!

[Leah Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed most aspects of this story, but the slow pacing made it hard to push through. I was hoping for something like Halfway There by Christine Mari, but this was not that.
I wanted this book to be about Kirby and rock climbing. I've never read anything like that before and was excited about that premise, but the school/newspaper plot point was not as interesting. I was sucked back in because of how the author includes how her decisions seem to impact her family and church. The cast of characters were great. I liked experiencing the multicultural aspects of Kirby's life.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kirby's journey after getting injured in a rock climbing competition was excellent. The side characters were amazing. And Gao's overall story about a teen finding acceptance within their family, their religious community, and themselves was very well done.

At times I really enjoyed the art style, but at other times I wish there were more details and a larger color palette used. But, I think plenty of teen readers will find something to take away from Kirby's story that relates to their own experiences.

[Jasmine Shouse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredible graphic novel about finding inner strength and bravery to do hard things, believing you'll be okay in the end. I loved the sweet Sapphic romance and all the multicultural aspects. There is some religious trauma and fear of disappointing family and grief for a lost parent. I adored the supportive friend group and the astrology references. This is a great read with a lot of emotions.

Thank you to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read and review.

[Ande Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kirby's Lessons for Falling (in Love) is a really sweet sapphic graphic novel that follows a high school rock climber and her relationship with a girl in the newspaper club. It deals with religious homophobia really well, and the messy relationships with family that can cause. The illustrations were great, and I really enjoyed this one!

Thanks to NetGalley, Laura Gao, and Harper Collins for the chance to read and review. My opinions are my own!

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an eARC for me to review!

I think the most I struggled with was that the font was so dang tiny that I was zooming in on the file just to read it (which was annoying, so it took me ages to commit to reading it... oops...). The art is nice, the plot holds itself together, and also it's QUEER!! not anything outstanding imo but plenty of fun. :)